Nice sunny morning and an enjoyable meeting. We looked at 3 short videos and then examined this positive philosophy.
Next meeting on the 29th December.
All the material I use is from the Internet my thanks to those who uploaded it.
Can Embracing Negative Emotions Increase Your Well-Being?
Many
people struggle with negative, even destructive feelings—about
themselves, about others; about emotions aroused in their careers or
relationships. Trying to stifle negative emotions—or feeling bad
about having them to begin with—is pretty common. It causes much
distress and struggle; and often brings people into psychotherapy.
The
irony, here, is that resisting or trying to push away your “bad”
feelings actually intensifies them. Psychological health and
well-being both grow from the opposite: Embracing them. Recent
research provides empirical evidence for that. In essence, it shows
that you can feel better by allowing yourself to feel bad.
In
fact, that’s what meditative practices help you learn to do, which
accounts for much of the rise in popularity of meditation, yoga, and
other mind-body practices. Here's why: When you try to deny or stifle
any “parts” of yourself—whether undesirable emotions, desires
or fears, you become fragmented. But you need a sense of integration;
of wholeness inside, to grow your well-being and capacity to handle
the ups and downs, the successes and failures; all part of the
relentless change and impermanence that characterizes life.
One
of the new studies, conducted with 1,300 adults over the course of
three experiments, underscored that in its findings. For example, it
found people who try to resist negative emotions are more likely to
experience psychiatric symptoms later, compared with those who accept
such emotions. The latter group—those who showed greater acceptance
of their negative feelings and experiences—also showed higher
levels of well-being and mental health.
The
study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,
was conducted by researchers at the University of California at
Berkeley and the University of Toronto. According to lead author Iris
Mauss, "We found that people who habitually accept their
negative emotions experience fewer negative emotions, which adds up
to better psychological health." But those who tried to avoid
negative emotions in response to bad experiences were more likely to
experience symptoms, like anxiety and depression, six months later.
Such
findings underscore that meditative practices enhance your “muscle”
for tolerating the ebb and flow of emotions and preoccupations;
rather than clinging or attaching oneself to them, which pulls you in
their direction. As that capacity builds, you become more able to
stay focused and centered internally, in the face of the rise and
fall of emotional turmoil, including needs, fears, frustrations, and
longings—all of which are part of the fluctuations of life.
Meditative practices and yoga diminish the tendencies toward anxiety
and depression—as evidenced by studies of brain activity as well as
conscious experience among meditators.
I
find it a bit amusing that researchers who find empirical evidence
for the benefit of accepting and letting go of negative emotions
often sound as though they’ve invented the wheel. It may be news to
them, but such knowledge has been around for several millennia in
other cultures. Nevertheless, it’s good to find studies that
corroborate that, especially for people who are otherwise sceptical
or unaware of the importance of practising acceptance.
For
example, the researchers point out, “People who accept (negative)
emotions without judging or trying to change them are able to cope
with their stress more successfully." And, they add, when bad
things happen, it may be better to let negative emotions run their
course rather than trying to avoid them. As Mauss says, "Maybe
if you have an accepting attitude toward negative emotions, you're
not giving them as much attention. And perhaps, if you're constantly
judging your emotions, the negativity can pile up."
Well
yes! That’s certainly true, as many people eventually discover.
A
different study also underscored the link between well-being and
letting yourself experience all emotional states—the pleasurable,
as well as the unpleasant, undesirable ones—and without judging or
chastising yourself. This cross-cultural study involving over 2,000
people from eight countries, described in this summary and published
in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. According to lead
researcher Maya Tamir at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem, found
that "Happiness is more than simply feeling pleasure and
avoiding pain…it is about having experiences that are meaningful
and valuable…” And, "All emotions can be positive in some
contexts and negative in others, regardless of whether they are
pleasant or unpleasant."
This
study found that—across cultures—people who experienced more of
the emotions that they “desired”—i.e. authentic, internal
experiences that they acknowledged and accepted—reported greater
life satisfaction and fewer depressive symptoms. And that was
regardless of whether those genuine emotions were pleasant or
unpleasant.
Building
the clarity and capacity to know how to deal with emotional states
grows from acknowledging all of them, whatever their source—past or
present circumstances; it doesn’t matter. All are part of who
you are as a total, whole being. With that awareness and acceptance,
you’re more able to decide how to respond to whatever is
aroused—both internally, and in your outward behavior.
1.
Open to experience:
both positive and negative emotions accepted. Negative feelings are
not denied, but worked through (rather than resorting to ego defense
mechanisms).
2.
Existential living:
in touch with different experiences as they occur in life, avoiding
prejudging and preconceptions. Being able to live and fully
appreciate the present, not always looking back to the past or
forward to the future (i.e., living for the moment).
3.
Trust feelings:
feeling, instincts, and gut-reactions are paid attention to and
trusted. People’s own decisions are the right ones, and we should
trust ourselves to make the right choices.
4.
Creativity:
creative thinking and risk-taking are features of a person’s life.
A person does not play safe all the time. This involves the ability
to adjust and change and seek new experiences.
5.
Fulfilled life:
a person is happy and satisfied with life, and always looking for
new challenges and experiences.
