Just seven of us today. After a long friendly chat we watched a video from one of Alan Watts lectures. Just a bit hard for some of us to understand the reference to a happening reality where there is no nouns only verbs and the impossibility of the ego either banishing, or improving its self.
After tea and biscuits we looked at these two ways to improve our relationship with the world. Not so deep but more practical.
“If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”– Meister Eckhart
Gratitude means thankfulness, counting
your blessings, noticing simple pleasures, and acknowledging
everything that you receive. It means learning to live your life as
if everything were a miracle, and being aware on a continuous basis
of how much you’ve been given. Gratitude shifts your focus from
what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present. In
addition, behavioral and psychological research has shown the
surprising life improvements that can stem from the practice of
gratitude. Giving thanks makes people happier and more resilient, it
strengthens relationships, it improves health, and it reduces stress.
Research
Shows Gratitude Heightens Quality of Life
Two psychologists, Michael McCollough of
Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas, and Robert Emmons of
the University of California at Davis, wrote an article about an
experiment they conducted on gratitude and its impact on well-being.
The study split several hundred people into three different groups
and all of the participants were asked to keep daily diaries. The
first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day
without being told specifically to write about either good or bad
things; the second group was told to record their unpleasant
experiences; and the last group was instructed to make a daily list
of things for which they were grateful. The results of the study
indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported
levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy.
In addition, those in the gratitude group
experienced less depression and stress, were more likely to help
others, exercised more regularly, and made greater progress toward
achieving personal goals.
Dr. Emmons – who has been studying
gratitude for almost ten years and is considered by many to be the
world’s leading authority on gratitude – is author of the book,
“Thanks!:
How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier”. The
information in this book is based on research involving thousands of
people conducted by a number of different researchers around the
world. One of the things these studies show is that practicing
gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%. This is
significant, among other things, because just as there’s a certain
weight that feels natural to your body and which your body strives to
maintain, your basic level of happiness is set at a predetermined
point. If something bad happens to you during the day, your happiness
can drop momentarily, but then it returns to its natural set-point.
Likewise, if something positive happens to you, your level of
happiness rises, and then it returns once again to your “happiness
set-point”. A practice of gratitude raises your “happiness
set-point” so you can remain at a higher level of happiness
regardless of outside circumstances.
In addition, Dr. Emmons’ research
shows that those who practice gratitude tend to be more creative,
bounce back more quickly from adversity, have a stronger immune
system, and have stronger social relationships than those who don’t
practice gratitude. He further points out that “To say we feel
grateful is not to say that everything in our lives is necessarily
great. It just means we are aware of our blessings.”
Notice and
Appreciate Each Day’s Gifts
People tend to take for granted the good
that is already present in their lives. There’s a gratitude
exercise that instructs that you should imagine losing some of the
things that you take for granted, such as your home, your ability to
see or hear, your ability to walk, or anything that currently gives
you comfort. Then imagine getting each of these things back, one by
one, and consider how grateful you would be for each and every one.
In addition, you need to start finding joy in the small things
instead of holding out for big achievements—such as getting the
promotion, having a comfortable nest egg saved up, getting married,
having the baby, and so on–before allowing yourself to feel
gratitude and joy.
Another way to use giving thanks to
appreciate life more fully is to use gratitude to help you put things
in their proper perspective. When things don’t go your way,
remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an
equal or greater benefit. In the face of adversity ask yourself:
“What’s good about this?”, “What can I learn from this?”,
and “How can I benefit from this?”
There are
Many Ways to Practice Gratitude
A common method to develop the practice
of gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal,
a concept that was made famous by Sarah Ban Breathnach’s book
“Simple
Abundance Journal of Gratitude”. This exercise basically
consists of writing down every day a list of three to ten things for
which you are grateful; you can do this first thing in the morning or
before going to bed at night.
Conclusion
Once you become oriented toward looking
for things to be grateful for, you will find that you begin to
appreciate simple pleasures and things that you previously took for
granted. Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you
want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the
little things and where you constantly look for the good even in
unpleasant situations. Today, start bringing gratitude to your
experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to
feel grateful; in this way, you’ll be on your way toward becoming a
master of gratitude.
Conclusion
If you spend almost
all your time focused on one destination after another, then you'll
resist--or not fully avail yourself of--the many pleasurable
"detours" that life, in its infinite richness, may have to
offer you. Anything that doesn't fit your preconceived notions of
where you need to go, and how you'll get there, will likely be
dismissed as imprudent, extraneous, or unwarranted. And yet how
crucial to your overall well-being might it be to selectively--and
mindfully--immerse yourself in some of the intriguing diversions that
vie for your "distracted attention."
It's only when you
choose, periodically, to de-focus from your subjectively chosen goals
and--childlike--follow these "disruptions," that you'll be
able to live fully and richly. Are these distractions purposeful?--in
the sense of being practical, profitable, advantageous? Well, no--at
least not literally. But why should they need to be? Isn't it much
better to embrace these distractions for what they are? Opportunities
to play, to laugh, to create, to feel inspired, and to enjoy living
for its own purposeless sake?
If you become aware
of how dynamic, how restorative, how centering so-called
"purposeless" behavior can be--which on various levels I've
been discussing in all four parts of this extended post--hopefully
you'll begin to schedule it into your daily life. Just as it's
essential to balance your work with play, and your activity with
rest, it's just as critical to counter whatever may have
"conditioned" you to act purposefully with an equal, though
opposite, practice of "letting go." Abandoning for the
moment both your long- and short-terms goals and acting without
utilitarian (or even idealistic) motives. A playfully with delight,
and with no purpose other than affirming the simple joy of be-ing.
For if in the end
the best "made-up" purpose in life is to live happily, then
regaining your sense of wonder and curiosity, and re-discovering your
inner child's passion for having fun, might just be a whole lot more
satisfying than living to reach goal--after goal--after goal. . . .
