December meeting.

Full house today. Started after catching up on the news with a video on being in the moment which included a session in which we all joined in. After tea and a biscuit we read the following 15 things to give up that I found on the net. We agreed with most of them.

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Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer.

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, many things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present inthe now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

November meeting

Good meeting we watched a video on what is wrong with the world then a positive viewpoint from Sian Stephenson. After tea we  read the following. Interesting two people could only see one image of the young woman or the old woman. I could see both and they changed on their own.

It looks like there is a white square in the center of this figure, but when we study the image, it becomes clear that there are only four partial circles. The square has been imposed by our visual system, whose edge detectors have been fooled. Can we know that the black shapes are more real than the white one? Yes, because the square doesn’t survive our efforts to locate it — its edges literally disappear. A little investigation and we see that its form has been merely implied.

What could we say to a skeptic who insisted that the white square is just as real as the three-quarter circles and that its disappearance is nothing more than, as you say, “a relatively rare — and deliberately cultivated — experience”? All we could do is urge him to look more closely. The same is true about the conventional sense of self — the feeling of being a subject inside your head, a locus of consciousness behind your eyes, a thinker in addition to the flow of thoughts. This form of subjectivity does not survive scrutiny. If you really look for what you are calling “I,” this feeling will disappear. In fact, it is easier to experience consciousness without the feeling of self than it is to banish the white square in the above image.

The personal development quest probably involves the questions: How do we become happy, or stay happy? How do we flourish? What should we do or be doing? Why are we here? Who or what are we? What is reality? Any answer or answers to these and other important questions in turn raise the question, 'How do you know that?' This means that we need to know how we know things and to what degree we can trust the answers and the questions. It becomes more important when people have turned to powerful people, organisations, or cultures which claim to ask the right questions and give the right answers. We need to be able to ask, 'How do they know this?' and know what sort of answers are going to be satisfactory. In the well known illusion, the two horizontal lines are equal in length, but one looks longer than the other. Now the top line looks longer to me than the bottom one. However, both are really the same length. So what am I seeing? Am I seeing the real lines? Presumably not, because the real lines are the same length and these look different.

So where are the illusory lines? Clearly not where I am looking because the real lines are there. And they are the same length. So I am not looking where the real lines are, but somewhere else. Also I am not looking at the real lines, but at something else. Something has got to be wrong with my perception or my thinking here. Something is deceiving me.

Consider this classic illusion below:

Some people quite clearly see a picture of a young woman. Others see a picture of an old woman. Sometimes people quarrel quite vigorously and maintain that their impression is correct. When we get used to the picture we see the two pictures of the old woman and the young one. But others see other things in the picture! Can you see the rat?

Once again, we have the question where is the picture of the young woman, when the picture appears to be that of an old woman? Where is the picture of the old woman when the picture appears to be that of the young woman? What am I looking at, in either case? Clearly not a picture of an old womanor a young woman, and clearly not both! Nor is it a changing picture, because by all other tests, the ink on the drawing does not change. The change occurs in our own minds. And what we see is clearly in our own minds. Now what does this tell us when we perceive 'normally?' Yet even when we observe common objects, such as bent sticks in the water, and train lines that appear to converge at a distance, we are clearly being deceived. We are even more likely to be deceived when we consider ideas. Can we therefore ever be arrogantly sure of being right about ideas again? We could claim that we know that the illusions are false because under some conditions we can 'see' accurately. Scientists usually specify very accurately the conditions under which they carried out their experiments. Yet, if the conditions are not the same on further occasions, how can we believe that the results are true. (Does what works in the lab work in the field?) In the same way, are we seeing a straight stick in the water which looks bent. Or are we seeing, outside the water, a bent stick which looks straight? Which is true? Further, what can we as humans actually know? Can we know about life after death? About reincarnation? Can we know about our real nature? What is knowledge

Poor attendance  again this month but quantity isn't everything,, those who did come enjoyed it if that is the right word. They found the last comment on the written text amusing and useful to know if you are welcome in a circle of friends talking together. So if you see us staring at your feet you will know why.
The video was all about the illusion of the self although I think that is right most have a reluctance in accepting that but we all have our own journey to make and the truth to discover.

Below is a description of one person's belief that they are enlightened.

I would like to start this article gently, but the truth is. No matter how I put this, it will seem odd. No matter how I say this, it will rub someone up the wrong way. No matter how delicately I handle this it, will challenge the foundations of your entire life.
If moving towards the truth is not what you want. If breaking free of the ties that have bound your life. If a rejection of the very reason you are here now, searching for freedom is not what you are after, stop reading now.
I’ll assume whoever is left only wants one thing: the cold and ruthless truth. Now to dispense with the pleasantries…You do not exist. What? How? Why?
I could explain logically that for self to exist it must be outside of reality-manipulating reality, and that anything outside of reality is unreal.
I could tell you that all you have ever had of your self is your thoughts about it. Just as your thoughts about unicorns do not mean unicorns are real, your thoughts about yourself are nothing more than thoughts.
We could delve into the many linguistic errors in this piece and ask “if you don’t exist why do you use the word ‘I’ so much”. I know, as you now know, that use of a word does not prove the existence of its namesake. We must simply do our best with the limited “selfish” language we were given.

I do not expect you to believe me

In fact I don’t want belief. I want you to discover it for yourself that you have no self (clever, eh?).
I’d like to offer that all we really know for sure is what we are experiencing right now. Memory is fallible, the past and future never come or go. All we can know is our direct experience of what is in the present moment.
With that in mind, I want you to pay direct attention to your experience of life right now.
Take a look at this self, which thinks your thoughts and moves your body. If it truly thinks your thoughts then it must exist apart from those thoughts. Pay attention to your experience; do you experience this self outside of thought?
Sure you have thoughts about the self, but look at experience, do those thoughts come from a self?
More importantly what are each of those thoughts DOING ? Are they trying to convince that there is a self?

I resisted this at first too..

The first thing I thought when I tried this was “Of course there is a self, this is stupid.” However as I watched, I realized that all my thoughts were about a self, but there was no self thinking up the thoughts.
I began to rationalize that I must be the brain because the brain thinks up the thoughts, but it hit me hard between the eyes. I don’t experience the brain thinking up thoughts.
I just experience thoughts arising conditioned by experience. It wasn’t my experience, I wasn’t there thinking the thoughts. There was only experience conditioned thoughts.
Sure there was a body and a mind, but the driver seat was empty. Life was automatic. As I looked around the room I sat in, the haze began to lift. My entire world fell apart. Only, it wasn’t my world and had never been. My whole life made sense, because it was never truly my life.

How has this affected me?

It’s an intense and real freedom, this liberation from erroneous assumption of self. From the time from the thought first entered my head, till my taking a look at the experience of life in that moment was roughly 7 minutes.
In mid September 2010 I saw life for what it is. It’s changed me for the better since. I can see clearly now. I tend not to get caught in emotional feedback loops and the idea of self. I still have it I just see that I have it, and see it for what it is.
Since I got this I’ve dedicated my life to bringing this to other people. I’ve been taking a little break but over the first 6 months I liberated 13 people . I have many friends who also pledged themselves to free this world. It’s hasn’t been easy there have been many ups and downs. We’ve stared into the abyss together and watched the brightest of stars fall from grace. What we do now we do with eyes open, and what we do is open eyes.
All it took was 7 minutes. I’ve seen people do it in 3. All you need to do is to pay attention to your experience of life. Just look.
_________________________________________________________
Nirvana 

The Way is perfect like vast space
where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess.
Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject
that we do not see the true nature of things.
Live neither in the entanglements of outer things,
nor in inner feelings of emptiness.
Be serene in the oneness of things
and such erroneous views will disappear by themselves.
When you try to stop activity to achieve passivity
your very effort fills you with activity.
As long as you remain in one extreme or the other
you will never know Oneness.
Those who do not live in the single Way
fail in both activity and passivity,
assertion and denial.
To deny the reality of things
is to miss their reality;
to assert the emptiness of things
is to miss their reality.
The more you talk and think about it,
the further astray you wander from the truth.
Stop talking and thinking,
and there is nothing you will not be able to know.
To return to the root is to find the meaning,
but to pursue appearances is to miss the source.
At the moment of inner enlightenment
there is a going beyond appearance and emptiness.
The changes that appear to occur in the empty world
we call real only because of our ignorance.
Do not search for the truth;
only cease to cherish opinions.

_______________________________________________________

 Pay attention to people’s feet when you are approaching them.

Interrupting people when they are in the middle of an important conversation is one of the most annoying things to do. It shows that you have zero knowledge of social dynamics which will lead to unpleasant social situations.
When you approach a group of people while in a conversation, pay attention to their bodies. If they turn only their torsos and not their feet, it means they are in the middle of an important conversation and they don’t want you to interrupt them.

If they turn both torso and feet, it means you are welcome. This is extremely important, because the right timing in such situations may put you in a position of advantage, especially if the conversation was boring for both sides.

September meeting

Down in numbers but all those who came found it enjoyable. After watching a video of an Indian with a truly open mind who had looked at all religions on his search to go home we had a break. Then we read  an article I found on the net which appealed to me. The image is a reminder of another philosophy we looked at before, Harding the man with no head. He is right there is only space behind the eyes.

This point is especially important to keep in mind when it comes to the paradox of understanding the True Self. There is only one self and this is the Divine Self, which is your pure awareness. The combination of your body, mind, personality and soul can be called your functional self but it is not really a self; it is not really a separate, autonomous, disjoint entity. It is not the source of its own awareness, just like the moon is not the source of its own light. Yet from the point of view of our common “ordinary” world, you will experience your functional self in a way that makes it seem as if it is the only real you, although separate and mortal. But this is just an illusion.
The main paradox of enlightenment is that the True Self – the Divine Self – does not become enlightened. Enlightenment is a set of conditions exhibited by the functional self, but that is not really you. Your True Self is the unborn eternal Divine Awareness, which never changes since it has no form that could change. It is free from all conditions and as such, it could never be or become enlightened yet it is what enlightens all souls.
We will revisit these points throughout this book yet I want to inspire you to take some time now to really start to think about these ideas. Don’t rush over them. Perhaps you will get to the point where you understand this truth not merely as a concept, but as your living experience.
A mystic is both wise and practical. In our example of the spinning earth, it is wise to live with the understanding that the earth is spinning on its axis and yet it is practical to speak about the sun traveling across the sky. Similarly, it is wise to understand the True Self and yet it is practical to respect the functional self and behave in a responsible way. Yes, there is something happening to you that you cannot feel with your body but acknowledge that there are other ways to know deep truth.
As another example, consider the following. We have all heard people say, “We are all one.” Why does this simple statement sound like pure nonsense? Because it mixes two very different frameworks.
The first part speaks from the framework of our common, ordinary world. That world is filled with people, the “we” of the statement. I believe that we are each a unique expression of the eternal divine essence. In other words, we are each different in our form - our body, our mind, our personality and so forth. So in our common world, we find the diverse “we.”
Yet the second part of the statement speaks from the framework of the divine source, the “One” Creator that brings forth all things. This is where we merge into our oneness. This essence is the same for all of us. In other words, we are all the same in our essence, but not in our form.
By mixing the two frameworks and omitting an explanation of what the frameworks are, the statement leads to confusion. Something that is plural cannot also be singular, right? Or can it? This is similar to saying that something that is moving cannot also be still. Again, we see the solution to our riddle: we should only use one framework at a time. This is why I like to say:
“In form, we are many; in essence, we are one!”
Now let's consider the experience of time. Could it also be an illusion?
Suppose you and your friends have plans for dinner and a movie, and you arrive promptly at the restaurant with your appetite piqued. But thirty minutes later, you are still alone and beginning to wonder if there was a misunderstanding. Is this the right day? Fifteen minutes later, you are just about to give up and order without your friends when suddenly they arrive!
Their apologies for being late seem a little disingenuous but you're willing to overlook that. They notice that you are a bit unhappy with the situation and they try to fix everything by proclaiming that you should not be so concerned about time since it is only an illusion, as if that means that it doesn't exist at all. But you might be thinking, “Hey, no matter what time really is, we're all having a late dinner and we're going to miss that great movie!”
Is time an illusion? My opinion is that within our common, daily experience, it certainly is real as an experience and for that reason, it does matter. It's what allows us to coordinate many of our activities and in this respect, I certainly appreciate it when people act responsibly. And more importantly, time is what allows all processes to unfold. You can't have growth without time. But is there more to time than meets the eye? I think so and in that way, it is indeed an illusion.
Perhaps I will say more about time at another time, but for right now, let's step back and ask some bigger questions. Is there more to reality than that revealed by the physical senses? Is our entire physical world the “totality of reality” or is it just “part of the picture?” Does it trick us into believing a false idea? Is it therefore, an illusion?
What is the true nature - the full nature - of reality? What role do we play in it? To what extent do we have freewill? To what degree do we control our own life? Are both life and death an illusion? Without the proper understanding of that subject, we would suffer from the effects of a very important false belief. And finally, are you an illusion? Is there more to you than meets the eye?
While our magicians use ordinary means to create the illusion of a supernatural event, is God doing the opposite? Is God using supernatural means to creates the illusion of the ordinary world?
Does God intentionally hide from us like the magician's secret assistant in order to invigorate the play we are all in and charge it with emotion? Could God and creation be the same reality, just like water and ice? Different “things” but the exact same essence? The mystic says, “Yes!” and the implications are mind-blowing!
(By the way, God is not a thing - God is not an object - but the right words are hard to find.)
So perhaps now you see why I often say:
“You are not simply connected to God; every aspect of your being is divine!”
“God is not just deep within you at a special place; you are divine at every level!”
So every time you see the sun traveling across the sky, ask yourself, “Is everything in our world of form magically and paradoxically the form of the Formless? Is this all just an illusion?”
Yes, ponder this every time you see the sun.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
It's like there are billions of hand puppets on earth, all apparently different people, animals and plants. But when we see beyond the illusion of separateness and correctly perceive the full picture of what is really taking place, we see that there is only one puppet master with billions of hands animating it all.

Once the mystic sees the whole world as the eternal divine essence in physical form, everything becomes precious and sacred. Deep compassion for all people, animals and even plants springs forth automatically. 

August meeting

Full house today and a rather subdued attendees but they all enjoyed the morning or at least they said they did.
We watched 3 small videos each with interesting viewpoints on the mystery of life. And after the break we looked at a paper on happiness. "Things" do not bring lasting joy, mostly it is genetics and outlook giving a steady base line of happiness.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Ann Landers

In The Material World
One seeks retirement and grows Old
In The Magical World
One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser
In The Miraculous World
One seeks nothing and grows Lighter

As we all tread the Homeward Path
We will explore many Realms
And one day... we will all Realize
That all experiences are Simply
Different ways in which The
All-That Is Perceives Itself

July meeting

Nine of us today and all very lively discussing the previous's garden party but after a quarter of an hour silence reigned long enough to look once again at several short videos. One showing our position in the universe that is if there is an objective external world rather than the world of sense impressions. One showed the magic of working with clay to create a hand holding a flower.
We also looked at the philosophy of David Hume who claimed that there is no self.

 Forsaking our British secretiveness, many well-loved figures nowadays choose to let the world know when they are terminally ill. A journalist calls to write a story. What's it like to be facing early and certain death? Is there any consolation? What about religious belief—God, life after death? In almost every case the sufferer answers, No. End of subject. This exchange—repeated many times lately—shows how ineffectual Western religion has now become. All that seems to be left of it is the notion that religion consists in crediting great big Religious Facts out there. But of course, there are no such Facts, as thinking people are aware. So they take it that religion can be of no help to them, forgetting that when death comes near Religious Facts never were any help. We shouldn't rely on them. The medieval English play Everyman teaches that clearly enough, for as Everyman descends into the grave he has to leave Knowledge behind. When death arrives, "beliefs" are no use. What matters is not whether we believe Religious Facts but whether we actually are religious. Have we learnt the relevant skill? Do we know how to die? Sadly, it seems that a false understanding of the nature of religious faith is destroying religion. People take it that faith is a kind of epistemological (The theory of knowledge ) miracle that enables one to credit the incredible, becoming convinced of the existence of great reassuring Facts-Out-There. This habit of mind I call "realism", a technical term in philosophy. Religion once called it idolatry. Marxists call it fetishism, the Buddhists talk about "craving". Realism is the habit of mind that has us surrounding ourselves with, and coming to rely upon, fictioned absolutes and illusory certainties. Structures of spiritual power and mechanisms of psychological repression are then used to keep the system in place, but in the process religion is lost. It is strange that this should have happened, because the religion of Jews, Christians and Muslims began with a polemic (a contentious argument ) against idolatry, and Buddhism in particular has a subtle critique of objectifying thinking. Early Christian converts were very conscious that in baptism a whole lot of illusions were being washed out of their heads. They felt emptied out, liberated, cleansed. We've lost that. For us, religion has come to mean having your head stuffed with fixed ideas. That is why we seem to have forgotten how to die. We have come to equate religion with holding on, when we ought to have been learning to see religion as teaching us how to let go. Religious belief should be producing a self-emptying way of life: we live by dying, unattached, pouring ourselves out into the flux of life in such a way that death when it comes is not a threat but a consummation. We should live as the sun does. Its existence, the process by which it lives, and the process by which it dies, all exactly coincide. It believes nothing, it hasn't a care, it just pours itself out. Its heedless life giving generosity is its glory. Glory is exact coincidence with the flux of one's own life, a state of being completely immersed in and given to life. The sun does it without a thought, but it's not easy for human beings. Fear and anxiety hold us back. We start looking for fixed points outside life: anchors, guiderails, landmarks. Of these fixed points, the idea of the Self is one of the most important. We want to imagine that there is a Real Me, a substance, something enduring and self-identical in us that transcends the flux of life. However, for so long as we believe in any fixed points outside the flux of life, we will be incapable of Glory and afraid of death. Life is outsideless. Glory means giving up all ideas of substance, all absolutes and things outside time, and losing our Selves in the flux of life. Jesus seems to compare "eternal life" with the way birds and flowers live, meaning that if we who are spirit can achieve the same exact coincidence with our own pure contingency that comes so naturally to the lily and the bird, then, we shall have eternal life. Death's sting is drawn. It may not be easy for a modern person to relearn these old skills, but here are one or two examples. You probably know of something—perhaps visual experience, perhaps music, perhaps meditation or productive work—in which you can become utterly absorbed and lost. You cease to be a separate, self-conscious individual slightly drawn back from the world, and find instead that you are "taken right out of yourself" and drowned or dispersed in the flux of things. We should cultivate that sort of experience of the sublime, and see it as teaching us how to die. More than that: the experience of the sublime, when we are taken out of ourselves and absorbed in nature or art, is blissful. And if so, then death, by reabsorbing us into the flux of things out of which we sprang, may also be blissful. That death is simple extinction, everyone nowadays knows or suspects. That religion can help us to prepare for death, that death may be experienced as a supreme though nameless bliss, and that we can find ourselves passionately yearning for it, is a big surprise. That is one of the basic problems facing the whole West, the modern mind: we try to understand everything...and life is basically a mystery. You can live it, but you cannot understand it. And if you insist that you have to understand, then you will remain superficial. Intellect goes only on the surface, only to a certain extent, then it cannot go deeper. The depth is not the dimension of the intellect; length is the dimension of the intellect. So if you want to know details, the intellect can give you many and many and many, but it cannot move in any depth; it cannot dig any fact in the dimension of depth, vertically. So forget about it. There is no need to understand.

June

Many very reasons for not coming leaving just John and June to hear this month's wisdom.
To start after a long time conversing on any subject apart from philosophy we viewed a 3 minute potted explanation of David Hume's description of reality. Although he used logic he found that the self after properties were excluded did not exist and there is no outside reality. As Eastern thought has proclaimed all along.

We then watched another video about the imagination bringing us what we wish for.

More good advice.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” ~Arthur Ashe

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

You dream of a life where you have more freedom—your work nourishes your mind and soul, your home is organized, and you have ample time to exercise and eat right.

It’s not that your current situation is awful, but you long to do more of the things you love. Yet when you contemplate radical changes, your heart rate quickens, and you convince yourself it’s just not the right time.

So you keep waiting for the big moment when you can make that big change that will lead to happiness.

Well, you’re wasting your time …

Our ability to feel happier comes from inside ourselves, not from external circumstances. You don’t need to quit your job, move to an exotic location, or lose weight to be happy. You can embody happiness right now.

Over the years, I’ve gotten better at aligning my life activities with my purpose.

I teach at my own yoga studio. I assumed this would make me happy 100 percent of the time, but I get derailed sometimes. I ruminate about the small things like our cluttered house, and the endless details of running a yoga studio. I forget the big picture. I forget all that I have. I get grumpy and start to nitpick.

I have to catch myself and find my happiness from within again. It might take a few minutes, hours, or days, but I use these mini-habits to help me get there. They cost little to nothing and are portable.

No matter your situation, you can start right now. The following habits will help you stand a little taller, smile from your heart, and shine a little brighter.

For Your Mind

1. Breathe deeply.

Inhale deeply, and exhale completely ten times. Deep breathing slows your thoughts, relaxes your nervous system, and brings you closer to your own intuition.

2. Use a mantra to change your mind-set.

Sha is a Sanskrit root word meaning peace, as in “shanti.” Say “sham” slowly ten to twenty times. By combining sound, breath, and rhythm, mantra channels the flow of energy through the mind-body circuit and calms your nervous system and mind.

3. Zone out. 

Spend a few minutes daydreaming. Your logical mind, the prefrontal cortex, is constantly planning, analyzing, and thinking about the future. Give it a rest, and just be for a little while; you’ll feel refreshed.

4. Express your love.

Write a note or tell a loved one how you appreciate them.  Communicating positive emotionslowers stress hormones, bad cholesterol, and blood pressure, and it strengthens immunity.

5. Rejuvenate your mind.

Close your eyes for a few moments. What do you see in the darkness of your mind’s eye? Notice the patterns that form.  This is a simple meditation that rejuvenates and refocuses your tired mind.

6. Explore healing aromas.

Plants like rosemary, lavender, and sage can improve our moods. Create your own natural spa. Put your favorite essential oils in a spray bottle with a little water.

7. Swap a thought.

Make a list of your positive traits and attributes. When you criticize yourself, refer to this list. Keep this pattern up and you’ll transform your inner dialogue.

8. Allow yourself to be.

Accept all your feelings about your present situation. They are valid, whether you like them or not. Accepting your current situation is the first step to feeling happier.

9. Loving-kindness meditation.

Loving-kindness builds positive emotions, which increases mindfulness and purpose in life. Spend a few minutes letting feelings of love and kindness for someone wash over you.

10. Meditate.

When thoughts come, return to your breath without judging. Deep breathing clears your mind and decreases your stress levels, which will allow you to feel happier.

11. Declutter one spot.

Declutter one surface or area. Starting small is easier. But when your home and workspace are clear from clutter, your mind feels more spacious.

For Your Body

12. Lighten up.

Once a day, laugh at yourself. When you make a mistake, see the humor in your error. Laughing isgreat medicine, it improves your mood, and it relieves stress and tension.

13. Stretch your body.

Sitting in a chair? Push away from your desk. Inhale, and as you exhale, bend forward, moving your ribs toward your thighs. Breathe deeply. Get out of your mind and into your body and the present moment.

14. Stretch your breath.

Hold onto the back of your chair, and breathe deeply. This opens up your rib cage and lungs, allowing you to breath more deeply. The added oxygen to your brain will make you feel alive and alert.

15. Give yourself a massage.

Use coconut oil or sesame oil on your skin, massage it on your whole body, and then take a warm shower to help your skin absorb the oil. This is a home spa treatment that is used all over India. Touch is calming, and you can reap its benefits without buying expensive massages.

16. Take a bath.

Relax and enjoy the simple pleasure of a warm bath. Light some candles, and put on your favorite music.  Soothe your body with this simple ritual. Why dream about getting away when you can create a calming environment in your home?

17. Place your palms over your eyelids.

This relaxes your eyes and mind. This is especially helpful if you have a headache or feel fatigued.

18. Practice Yoga Nidra (Yogic Sleep).

Take ten minutes to relax your whole body completely and then each part of your body in turn. This magical practice is as efficient as taking a longer nap.

19. Eat with complete attention. 

Put away all your screens. Savor your meal by noticing all its tastes and textures. You’ll improve your digestion and feel more relaxed as a result.

20. Move every day.

Even if you have very little time. You only need five minutes to stretch or walk outside. Building a little movement into your day is better for your health than one longer weekly workout.

21. Hug someone or something.  Like your friend, pet, or even yourself. Soothing touch is relaxing and calming.

For Your Spirit

22. Stop and pay attention.

Are birds chirping? Horns blasting? Voices passing? Notice your world right now, and see the beauty that is unfolding under your nose. You’ll feel a little better about your situation.

23. Make a mini-gratitude list.

What are three things from the past twenty-four hours that can go on your list? Making gratitude a permanent trait is proven to make us happier, healthier, and live longer.

24. Give thanks for your meals.

Saying thanks for having enough will remind you of how much you have. Remember that eight million people don’t have enough food to lead a healthy, active life.

25. Get outside and unplug.

Spend time outdoors without your digital devices. Notice the small details of your surroundings — the flowers, the trees, even the small ants on the sidewalk. You’ll feel peaceful and calm as a result.

26. Spend time with friends.

Socializing is a secret of the world’s longest-lived people. Set a weekly meeting. Go for a walk, drink tea, or simply enjoy each others’ presence.

27. Listen.

When people talk, listen to them. Be 100 percent present with your company, and you’ll get their appreciation in return.

28. Love your furry friends.

They can be our best friends and show undying loyalty. Spending time petting a dog can improve your mood and even strengthen your heart.

29. Find a beautiful natural thing around you.

Pick a flower, leaf, twig, or fruit. Remind yourself of all the natural wonders that surround you right now. It’s easy to overlook the beauty in the present moment.

30. Take a mini-vacation.

Once a week, I take my toddler and dog to the park for a picnic lunch. We relax and listen to the birds. Leave your busy life for a few moments to be with loved ones who are crucial to your happiness.

The Secret That Holds The Key To Your Happiness

Your happiness isn’t dependent on where you live, how much you weigh, or what you do for work. The key to happiness is appreciating what you have at this moment. Sure, we all want to make changes sometimes. But one change, no matter how big, is unlikely to transform misery into elation.

Small things that help you appreciate yourself, your loved ones, and the world around you will add up to big changes in your mind-set.

Pick a couple practices from each category. Write them down. Post them on your mirror so that you remind yourself each morning.

Schedule the activities in your calendar.  Even if they take five minutes, this daily reminder will prompt your memory.

And don’t forget to inhale the sweet fragrance of the jasmine that is blooming right under your nose.

May meeting

Nice morning interesting video we all listened to about the mind controlling the brain and how stem cells are influenced by the environment.. Afterwards we read this helpful advice to stop being a control freak,

“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Proverb

I’ve noticed that things go much more smoothly when I give up control—when I allow them to happen instead of making them happen. Unfortunately, I’m terrible at this.

Although I’m much better than I used to be, I’m a bit of a control freak. I often use perfectly good energy trying to plan, predict, and prevent things that I cannot possibly plan, predict, or prevent.

For example, I wonder if my baby is going to get a proper nap when we travel and, if not, just how crabby she might be. I think through her travel and napping patterns, attempting to figure out exactly what we’re up against, as if her sleep is something I can control.

I also think about the weather a lot when out-of-town guests are visiting. I spend my already-limited time planning for every possible weather/mood combination when considering our itinerary.

Like most humans I know, I spend a lot of time in business that’s not mine. The baby’s business, my friends’ business, Mother Nature’s business.

As a recovering control freak, there are three things I know for sure about trying to control things:

1. We try to control things because of what we think will happen if we don’t.

In other words, control is rooted in fear.

2. Control is also a result of being attached to a specific outcome—an outcome we’re sure is best for us, as if we always know what’s best.

When we trust that we’re okay no matter what circumstances come our way, we don’t need to micro-manage the universe. We let go. And we open ourselves to all sorts of wonderful possibilities that aren’t there when we’re attached to one “right” path.

3. The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.

I suspect it’s slightly different for everyone, but here’s what control mode looks and feels like for me: My vision gets very narrow and focused, my breath is shallow, adrenaline is pumping and my heart rate increases.

My mind shifts from topic to topic and from past to future very quickly, and I have little concentration, poor memory, and almost no present-moment awareness.

In surrender mode, I’m calm, peaceful. Breathing deeply, present in the moment. I see clearly and my vision extends out around me, allowing me to (literally) see the bigger picture.

So the great irony is that attempting to control things actually feels less in control. When I’m micro-managing and obsessing over details, I know I’m in my own way.

The Art of Surrender

Surrender literally means to stop fighting. Stop fighting with yourself. Stop fighting the universe and the natural flow of things. Stop resisting and pushing against reality.

Surrender = Complete acceptance of what is + Faith that all is well, even without my input.

It’s not about inaction. It’s about taking action from that place of surrender energy.

If letting go of control and surrendering not only feel better, but actually produce better results, how do we do that?

Sometimes it’s as easy as noticing that you’re in control mode and choosing to let go—consciously and deliberately shifting into surrender energy.

For example, when I become aware that I’m in control mode, I imagine that I’m in a small canoe paddling upstream, against the current. It’s hard. It’s a fight. That’s what control mode feels like to me.

When I choose to let go and surrender, I visualize the boat turning around, me dropping the oars, and floating downstream.

I’m being gently pulled, no effort necessary on my part. Simply breathing and saying, “Let go of the oars” is usually enough to get me there.

Sometimes it’s a little harder to make the shift from control to surrender. Here are a few questions that can help:

1. What am I afraid will happen if I let go of control?

When you pinpoint the fear, question its validity. Ask yourself, Is it true? If you’re afraid the night will be ruined if your boyfriend doesn’t remember to pick up eggplant (and you’ve already reminded him fourteen times), question that assumption.

Can you really know the night would be ruined without the eggplant? And if it would be ruined (by your definition, anyway), what’s so bad about that?

2. Find out whose business you’re in.

Your business is the realm of things that you can directly influence. Are you there? Or are you in someone else’s business? When we’re trying to control things outside of our own business, it’s not going to go well.

3. Consider this: Would letting go feel like freedom?

It almost always would. Let that feeling of freedom guide you toward loosening your grip.

A Friendly Universe

Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.”

I believe in a friendly universe.

Being receptive and allowing things to happen is a skill that can be practised and improved upon. It helps to believe in a friendly universe—one that is supporting you at every turn so that you don’t have to worry yourself over the details.

We can always choose to do things the easy way or the hard way. We can muscle through, or we can let go of the oars and let the current carry us downstream.

There is a peaceful, yet focused energy that accompanies holding the intention of what I want, but not forcing myself to do it. That energy is magic. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m allowing it to become a habit instead of making it a habit.