After discussion we did look at Stephen's Fry dismissal of God as understood by Christians.
We then looked at these various interesting thoughts by various authors.
Self-Acceptance
vs. Self-Improvement
It
should be apparent at this point that self-acceptance has nothing to
do with self-improvement as such. For it really isn't about "fixing"
anything in ourselves.With self-acceptance we're
just--non-judgmentally--affirming who
we are, with whatever strengths--and weaknesses--we possess in the
moment. Certainly, we can vow to do better in the future, but we can
nonetheless accept ourselves precisely as we are today, regardless of
our shortcomings.
And
here I can't emphasize enough that it's possible to accept and love
ourselves and still be committed to a lifetime of personal growth.
Accepting ourselves as we are today doesn't mean we'll be without
the motivation to
make changes or improvements that will make us more effective, or
that will enrich our (and likely others') lives. It's simply that
this self-acceptance is in no way tied to
such alterations. We don't have to actually do anything
to secure our self-acceptance: we have only to change the way we look
at ourselves.
So changing our behaviors becomes solely a matter of personal
preference--not a prerequisite for greater self-regard.
The
famous French expression, "Tout
comprendre, c'est tout excuser" (literally,
"to understand all is to pardon all") is a dictum that we
ought to apply at least as much to ourselves as to others. For the
more we can grasp just why in the past we were compelled to act in a
particular way, the more likely we'll be able both to excuse
ourselves for this behavior and avoid repeating it in the future.
Becoming
more self-accepting necessitates that we begin to appreciate that,
ultimately, we're not really to blame for anything--whether it's our
looks, intelligence,
or any of our more questionable behaviors. Our actions have all been
compelled by some combination of background and biology. Going
forward, we certainly can--and in most cases, should--take
responsibility for ways we've hurt or mistreated others. But if we're
to productively work on becoming more self-accepting, we must do so
with compassion and forgivenessin
our hearts. We need to realize that, given our internal programming
up to that point, we could hardly have behaved differently.
To
take ourselves off the hook and gradually evolve to a state of
unconditional self-acceptance, it's crucial that we adopt an attitude
of "self-pardon" for our transgressions (whether actual or
perceived). In the end, we may even come to realize that there's
nothing to forgive. For regardless of what we may have concluded
earlier, we were, in a sense, always innocent--doing
the best we could, given (1) what was innate (or hard-wired) in us,
(2) how compelling our needs (and feelings) were at the time, and (3)
what, back then, we believed about ourselves. That which, finally,
determines most problematic
behavior is linked to common psychological defenses. And it almost
borders on the cruel for us to blame ourselves--or hold ourselves in
contempt--for acting in ways that at the time we thought we had to
in order to protect ourselves
from anxiety, shame, or emotional distress generally.
What is the difference between dreams and reality?
One obvious answer is that we wake up from dreams but we don’t wake up from reality. But does the dreamed person in our dreams ever wake up from the dream? Or does their ‘reality’ just end for them? One minute they are living inside their reality and the next it just stops. We wake up from that dream. As far as we’re concerned the dream is over. But what does the dream person experience?
Inside
the dream there is a complete universe. It has the appearance of
depth and solidity that we also experience when we are awake. The
laws of physics are sometimes different and we meet with people who
are deceased. However inside the dream, these things appear to be
totally normal. They are all created by our mind. We can walk through
forests and cities, lie on the beach or make love. We eat, drink and
experience the full gamut of life. How can we tell that the waking
experience is not a dream? How do we know for sure that when we
sleep, that isn’t a waking up experience for another dreamer, the
dreamer who is dreaming us?
Of
course, we know that the waking experience is similar to dreams in
many ways. We know that the world our senses perceive isn’t really
as it seems. We know that the objects around us aren’t really solid
– they are made of atoms which are themselves 99.9999999999999999%
empty space
(http://lunarscience.nasa.gov/articles/beware-of-images/). The
apparent depth and solidity that we perceive are all creations of the
mind. This is, of course, also true of your own body and those of the
people around you. Had you been born with different senses, able to
perceive atomic reality, you would perceive a very different world
around you.
Enlightenment
is, in a way, realising that the waking world is just a creation of
our minds. It is realising that as real and solid as it might seem,
the waking world is really just a series of concept and ideas created
by our minds. And, off course, the existence of the mind is itself
just a dream. Seen at an atomic level, there is no brain, no body and
no mind. These are also just ideas.
Inside
our sleeping dreams, we also perceive bodies who seem to think and
act and experience the world around them. Those bodies, brains and
minds have no objective reality outside of the mind that is dreaming
them. Why, then, is it so hard for people to accept that this world,
too, is merely another dream?
Accepting
that the waking world is another dream, devoid of objective reality
outside of our minds, is the secret to permanent peace. It is lucid
dreaming in the waking state. We participate in the world, totally
accepting that is a dream and acknowledging that the dream has no
objective reality. Once we accept that our own concept of self, of
the ego, the “I”, is a complete fabrication, it is impossible to
take it seriously. If you were asleep and having a lucid dream (i.e.
aware that you are in a dream), would you worry about anything
happening inside the dream? Or would you just go along with it and
enjoy the ride?
“Consider
that you can see less than
1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the
acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec
across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own
microbial DNA and are not “you.” The atoms in your body are
99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you
were born with, but they all originated in the interior
of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common
potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical
photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow
does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it.
This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful
colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic
spectrum.”
Luck: Good
luck and bad luck are the balance in action and the way the balance
most affects our lives. Luck is manifested on many levels. There is
the day-to-day luck, from little things like getting a good parking
space or a bad one, to big things, such as winning the lottery or
finding out you have cancer. Then there is the long-term luck. You
are lucky if you are born with good looks, money, health, talent and
intelligence. You are unlucky if you are born unattractive, poor,
sickly and without talent or intelligence. Most people are in between
the extremes, but it does not matter, because we are immortal, and it
will all balance out. Luck will move back and forth; everyone will
get equal amounts of good and bad luck.The knowledge of the balance
takes away your reasons to be mad, sad, hate, worry, envy, be
disappointed; it takes away all negative emotions and feelings.
It removes all stress and negative mind-made feelings from your life.
It removes all stress and negative mind-made feelings from your life.
