Only 2 away today and all those who attended enjoyed the readings from various sources on happiness and the 2 short videos.
In
the field of mental health, there is a concept relating to tolerance
for uncertainty, most specifically relating to treatment of anxiety
disorders; People with high anxiety have a low tolerance for
uncertainty, whereas people with low anxiety have a high tolerance
for uncertainty.
What
are the differences between happy people and unhappy people? Of
course, it should be very obvious:happy people are happy while
unhappy people are unhappy, right? Well, that is correct. But, we
want to know what happy people do differently, so I have put together
a list of things that happy people do differently than unhappy
people.
1. Love vs. Fear
Those people who are really
happy, fear less and love a lot more. They see each moment, each
challenge, each person as an opportunity to discover more about
themselves and the world around them.
2. Acceptance vs. Resistance
Happy people understand that you can’t
really change a situation by resisting it, but you can definitely
change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding that
there might be a reason for its existence.
When something unpleasant happens to
them, they don’t try to fight it (they know that this will make the
situation even worse), but they ask themselves questions like: What
can I learn from this? How can I make this better? And then they
focus on the positive, rather than on the negative. They always seem
to see the glass half full, no matter what happens to them.
3. Forgiveness vs. Unforgiveness
Really happy people know that it’s
not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to forgive and forget,
understanding that forgiveness is a gift they give to
themselves first and foremost.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a
hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the
one who gets burned. ~Buddha
4. Trust vs. Doubt
They trust themselves and they trust
the people around them. Whether they are talking to the cleaning lady
or the C.E.O. of a billion-dollar company, somehow they always seem
make the person they are interacting with feel that there is
something unique and special about them. They understand that beliefs
are self-fulfilling prophecies.
Because of that, they make sure to
treat everyone with love, dignity and respect, and make no
distinction between age, sex, social status, color, religion or race.
These are the great men that Mark Twain was talking about:
“Keep away from people who try to
belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really
great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
5. Meaning vs. Ambition
They do the things they do because of
the meaning it brings into their lives and because it gives their
lives a sense of purpose. They understand that “Doing what
you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life” as
Wayne Dyer says.
And they care more about living a life
full of meaningthan what, in our modern society we would call, living
a successful life. The irony here is that most of the time they get
both success and meaning because they choose to focus on doing the
things they love the most and they always pursue their heart‘s
desires. They are not motivated by money; they want to make a
difference in the lives of those around them and in the world.
6. Praising vs. Criticizing
Happy people would probably agree with
Carl Jung’s theory on resistance: “What you resist not only
persists, but will grow in size.” They don’t criticize the
absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, rather, they know by
praising the person and the behavior they wish to reinforce (even if
it’s not often), they will actually encourage the positive
behavior.
When a parent wants to make sure their
7 year old boy will learn to always put the toys back in the box
after he’s done playing with them, they make sure not to focus on
the many times the child didn’t do it, criticizing him and his
behavior, but every time the little boy does put the toys back, the
parent praises him and his behavior and that is exactly how they
reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end get the wanted
results.
7. Challenges vs. Problems
Happy people will see problems as
challenges, as opportunities to explore new ways of doing things,
expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that underneath
them all lay many opportunities that will allow them to expand and to
grow.
8. Selflessness vs. Selfishness
They do what they do not for
themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they bring
meaning,empowerment and happiness to the lives of many. They look for
ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and
to make other people happy.
Before giving, the mind of the giver is
happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and
having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted. ~Buddha
9. Abundance vs. Lack/ Poverty
They have an abundant mindset, living a
balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. Dreaming Big vs. Being Realistic
These people don’t really care about
being realistic. They love and dare to dream big, they always listen
to their heart and intuition and the greatness of their
accomplishments scares many of us.
Dream no small dreams for they have no
power to move the hearts of men. ~Goethe
11. Kindness vs. Cruelty
They are kind to themselves and others
and they understand the power of self-love, self-forgiveness and
self-acceptance.
12. Gratitude vs. Ingratitude
No matter where they look, no matter
where they are or who they are with, they have the capacity to see
beauty where most of us would only see ugliness, opportunities where
most of us would only see struggles, abundance where most of us would
only see lack and they express their gratitude for all of it.
13. Presence/ Engagement vs.
Disengagement
They know how to live in the present
moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while still
dreaming big dreams about the future.
When you are present, you can allow the
mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in
itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek
yourself in it and mistake it for who you are. ~Eckhart Tolle
14. Positivity vs. Negativity
No matter what happens to them, they
always keep a positive perspective on everything and by doing so,
they tend irritate a lot of negative and “realistic” people.
15. Taking Responsibility vs. Blaming
They take full ownership over their
lives and they rarely use excuses. Happy people understand that the
moment you choose to blame some outside force for whatever is
happening to you, you are in fact giving all your power away. They
choose to keep their power and take responsibility for everything
that happens to them.
- You already are what you are seeking
- We are in it for the journey – not the destination
The
truth is, we are already getting everything that we need for our
evolution. There is no need to try and control our path – the
lessons we need will keep coming, our inner-compass will keep
working. Our job is to simply notice, be in the moment and enjoy the
ride. Oh and just one last reminder… you don’t need to try and do
those things. It’s already happening. Just notice
Was
Carl Jung was right when he said, “What you resist not only
persists, but will grow in size?” My life experience tells me yes:
how much ground can you gain if you ‘fight’ anxiety, for example.
If energy-depleted or out of balance is what we are, we can accept
what we are, forgive ourselves, love ourselves and decide to change.
Healing involves a change of heart, which is intention; followed by
dedication, effort, commitment, and belief. Belief: an essential
element of any change is believing the change has already occurred.
Trust yourself… the circumstances you imagine already exist!
