Low in numbers like may other groups this month but we still went ahead and I believe we all enjoyed the get together.
We first listened to a recording from a team building life coach - interesting but only applicable at certain times when set a task her philosophy of belief in ones self that you can win is useful at times.
We then read up on the technique of centering the self (below).
finally we listened to David Icke talking about the Law of Attraction and like him we agree that it is mainly true.
Centering Yourself: The Key to Sustaining Healthy Boundaries
Martha Baldwin Beveridge is a psychotherapist
You can handle whatever tough situations you encounter with grace and wisdom. The key to doing so is keeping yourself centered in love and firmly grounded in your space – with your boundaries held securely about you.
Centering and grounding yourself are processes you practice – ideally a number of times everyday. Healthy boundaries flow from your steady center. They embrace the whole of you, define you as distinct from others, and protect you from harm as you interact with others.
Healthy boundaries make intimacy possible. Without them partners can't connect as two complete people who love and respect each other. Instead they become entangled. They function as if one of them wears a T-shirt that says, "We are one, and I am the one," while the other's says, "We are one, and you are the one."
That kind of thinking comes from the relationship model that was our cultural standard before the women's movement took hold. In the past thirty years, relationship roles have shifted significantly. Yet many people still are running mental software that dates back to the first half of the twentieth century. Though they may pay lip service to equality of the sexes, old ways of thinking determine much of how they relate to their mates. Especially when they are stressed, they automatically default to their most obsolete but firmly embedded behavioral programming.
When this happens, they violate each other's boundaries in a variety of hurtful ways. We'll take a look at how boundary violations happen and what we can do about them in my next article. In this one, we'll get clear about what boundaries are and how centering and grounding help us sustain them.
Do you remember having a protractor when you were in grade school? Your teacher showed you how to use it to draw a circle. You placed the arm with the pointed end where you wanted the center to be, adjusted the arc of the radius to determine your circle's size, and then traced it with the little pencil attached to the other arm of the tool. A perfect round emerged on your paper – and you could make others like it again and again.
The core of you is like the expanded center of that circle. The rest of you flows from your center out to the boundaries that define you as unique and distinct from everyone else you meet.
Your boundaries encompass the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions of your being. Your physical boundaries are easy to see. They are defined by your body which obviously is separate from everyone else's. But there is more to you than meets the eye. Your physical form is not all of you. This is because you are not inside your body. Your body is inside you.
Beyond your physical form a field of energy surrounds you. Your emotional, mental, and spiritual boundaries are like concentric circles of light that extend far beyond your body and radiate all around you. Your energy field reflects what you feel, think, and believe. It moves and vibrates at different rates as your emotions, thoughts, and spiritual experiences vary.
The hurt you feel when your physical boundaries are violated is clear and visible. If someone hits you, you have cuts and bruises. If you fall or suffer other accidental injuries, you bleed. If another person steps on your toes, you feel pain. You instinctively do your best to protect your physical boundaries because your survival depends upon your body remaining healthy and in tact.
When someone violates your mental, emotional, and spiritual boundaries, you feel hurt, angry, confused, misunderstood, and discounted. Emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds are very real, but they are not clearly visible. You may try to hide them from others and sometimes even from yourself. Protecting your emotional, mental, and spiritual boundaries is just as important to your well being as protecting your physical boundaries.
Healthy boundaries allow you to relate in loving ways with others without intruding upon them or being intruded upon, without neglecting them or being neglected, without freezing them out or being frozen out. Ideally your boundaries are both firm and flexible. You can expand or contract them as you deal with different people and different kinds of relationships.
You can best establish and sustain healthy boundaries by being centered in the loving core of your Self. Being centered is like firmly planting the point of your protractor in the heart of you and expanding the love you feel there – then drawing a beautiful circle of light that radiates from your center and surrounds you as you interact with others.
A long time ago, I asked one of my wisest teachers, "What is the most important thing people need to learn to live life well?" Her answer was simple. "Teach them to center themselves."
Since that exchange, I've shared centering experiences with lots of others over the years. Like most things that are really valuable, centering is basically a simple process. And it is one that most of us intuitively recognize and easily embrace.
One way to center yourself is by putting your hand over your heart in the center of your chest. As you press your hand gently against your chest, take three deep breaths and slowly release them. You can say to yourself, "I give thanks that I am centered in love," or "Come Loving Spirit and fill me." Ron Roth suggests saying, "I am," as you inhale and "God breathed" as you exhale.
Let your face relax and soften. Feel light flowing throughout your body and all around you. Imagine that strong roots are growing from your feet, nourishing you, grounding you, and anchoring you to the center of the earth. Then rest in that peaceful place with your eyes open or closed for as long as you like – a few moments while waiting for a traffic light to change or several minutes in the midst of a busy day or a stressful situation.
The more you practice centering at odd times, the more naturally it will come to you when you find yourself feeling frightened, anxious, defensive, confused, discounted, or overwhelmed. When you center yourself, you automatically set your invisible energy boundaries in place. As long as you stay centered – and keep returning to center if you feel yourself slipping into fearful reactivity – your loving presence overrides whatever negativity others send toward you. Centering firmly establishes and sustains the healthy boundaries you need for all the ins and outs, ups and downs of living.
Centering gives you genuine power as you connect with your partner and everyone else. Genuine power is quite different from competitive force. It flows from your place of essential wholeness – a place where you embrace all of yourself and are not afraid of the shadow parts when they show up – in yourself or in others. Genuine power pours forth from an attitude of gratitude and forgiveness rather than dissatisfaction and judgment. It manifests as tender toughness and gentle firmness rather than challenging confrontation.
The Love of God that is the core of your being is always stronger than fear and negativity. Centering yourself – moment by moment – gives you the clarity and genuine power you need to face whatever challenges are before you. Centering establishes and protects your boundaries and makes intimacy possible. Centering yourself in Love gives you miraculous moments of healing – again and again – miracles that are yours right now in each instant of your opening to receive them. Try it out! Being centered is your natural, God given, healthy and most satisfying way of being. And it is yours – simply for the allowing.
