March meeting

We watched a video on the way we know the external world leading to the question is there one. Most despite the evidence that all knowledge is perception still believe that they are seeing the real objective reality.
After discussion we did look at Stephen's Fry dismissal of God as understood by Christians.
We then looked at these various interesting thoughts by various authors.

Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Improvement

It should be apparent at this point that self-acceptance has nothing to do with self-improvement as such. For it really isn't about "fixing" anything in ourselves.With self-acceptance we're just--non-judgmentally--affirming who we are, with whatever strengths--and weaknesses--we possess in the moment. Certainly, we can vow to do better in the future, but we can nonetheless accept ourselves precisely as we are today, regardless of our shortcomings.

And here I can't emphasize enough that it's possible to accept and love ourselves and still be committed to a lifetime of personal growth. Accepting ourselves as we are today doesn't mean we'll be without the motivation to make changes or improvements that will make us more effective, or that will enrich our (and likely others') lives. It's simply that this self-acceptance is in no way tied to such alterations. We don't have to actually do anything to secure our self-acceptance: we have only to change the way we look at ourselves. So changing our behaviors becomes solely a matter of personal preference--not a prerequisite for greater self-regard.

The famous French expression, "Tout comprendre, c'est tout excuser" (literally, "to understand all is to pardon all") is a dictum that we ought to apply at least as much to ourselves as to others. For the more we can grasp just why in the past we were compelled to act in a particular way, the more likely we'll be able both to excuse ourselves for this behavior and avoid repeating it in the future.

Becoming more self-accepting necessitates that we begin to appreciate that, ultimately, we're not really to blame for anything--whether it's our looks, intelligence, or any of our more questionable behaviors. Our actions have all been compelled by some combination of background and biology. Going forward, we certainly can--and in most cases, should--take responsibility for ways we've hurt or mistreated others. But if we're to productively work on becoming more self-accepting, we must do so with compassion and forgivenessin our hearts. We need to realize that, given our internal programming up to that point, we could hardly have behaved differently.

To take ourselves off the hook and gradually evolve to a state of unconditional self-acceptance, it's crucial that we adopt an attitude of "self-pardon" for our transgressions (whether actual or perceived). In the end, we may even come to realize that there's nothing to forgive. For regardless of what we may have concluded earlier, we were, in a sense, always innocent--doing the best we could, given (1) what was innate (or hard-wired) in us, (2) how compelling our needs (and feelings) were at the time, and (3) what, back then, we believed about ourselves. That which, finally, determines most problematic behavior is linked to common psychological defenses. And it almost borders on the cruel for us to blame ourselves--or hold ourselves in contempt--for acting in ways that at the time we thought we had to in order to protect ourselves from anxiety, shame, or emotional distress generally.
What is the difference between dreams and reality?
One obvious answer is that we wake up from dreams but we don’t wake up from reality. But does the dreamed person in our dreams ever wake up from the dream? Or does their ‘reality’ just end for them? One minute they are living inside their reality and the next it just stops. We wake up from that dream. As far as we’re concerned the dream is over. But what does the dream person experience?

Inside the dream there is a complete universe. It has the appearance of depth and solidity that we also experience when we are awake. The laws of physics are sometimes different and we meet with people who are deceased. However inside the dream, these things appear to be totally normal. They are all created by our mind. We can walk through forests and cities, lie on the beach or make love. We eat, drink and experience the full gamut of life. How can we tell that the waking experience is not a dream? How do we know for sure that when we sleep, that isn’t a waking up experience for another dreamer, the dreamer who is dreaming us?

Of course, we know that the waking experience is similar to dreams in many ways. We know that the world our senses perceive isn’t really as it seems. We know that the objects around us aren’t really solid – they are made of atoms which are themselves 99.9999999999999999% empty space (http://lunarscience.nasa.gov/articles/beware-of-images/). The apparent depth and solidity that we perceive are all creations of the mind. This is, of course, also true of your own body and those of the people around you. Had you been born with different senses, able to perceive atomic reality, you would perceive a very different world around you.

Enlightenment is, in a way, realising that the waking world is just a creation of our minds. It is realising that as real and solid as it might seem, the waking world is really just a series of concept and ideas created by our minds. And, off course, the existence of the mind is itself just a dream. Seen at an atomic level, there is no brain, no body and no mind. These are also just ideas.

Inside our sleeping dreams, we also perceive bodies who seem to think and act and experience the world around them. Those bodies, brains and minds have no objective reality outside of the mind that is dreaming them. Why, then, is it so hard for people to accept that this world, too, is merely another dream?

Accepting that the waking world is another dream, devoid of objective reality outside of our minds, is the secret to permanent peace. It is lucid dreaming in the waking state. We participate in the world, totally accepting that is a dream and acknowledging that the dream has no objective reality. Once we accept that our own concept of self, of the ego, the “I”, is a complete fabrication, it is impossible to take it seriously. If you were asleep and having a lucid dream (i.e. aware that you are in a dream), would you worry about anything happening inside the dream? Or would you just go along with it and enjoy the ride?

“Consider that you can see less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 km/sec across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you.” The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the interior of a star. Human beings have 46 chromosomes, 2 less than the common potato. The existence of the rainbow depends on the conical photoreceptors in your eyes; to animals without cones, the rainbow does not exist. So you don’t just look at a rainbow, you create it. This is pretty amazing, especially considering that all the beautiful colors you see represent less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum.”

Luck: Good luck and bad luck are the balance in action and the way the balance most affects our lives. Luck is manifested on many levels. There is the day-to-day luck, from little things like getting a good parking space or a bad one, to big things, such as winning the lottery or finding out you have cancer. Then there is the long-term luck. You are lucky if you are born with good looks, money, health, talent and intelligence. You are unlucky if you are born unattractive, poor, sickly and without talent or intelligence. Most people are in between the extremes, but it does not matter, because we are immortal, and it will all balance out. Luck will move back and forth; everyone will get equal amounts of good and bad luck.The knowledge of the balance takes away your reasons to be mad, sad, hate, worry, envy, be disappointed; it takes away all negative emotions and feelings.
It removes all stress and negative mind-made feelings from your life.

February 2015

My own thoughts on philosophy lead me to believe that there is no free will, no self and no external world. Not a negative notion as what is left is freedom to be and act. 
We watched Samuel B. "Sam" Harris an American author, philosopher, and neuroscientist on Youtube then read this article I found on the web dealing with the same subject.

The Paradox of Free Will

One of my earliest ventures into philosophy, back in high school, concerned the question of “free will versus determinism.” If the world unfolds according to fixed laws, then everything that happens is determined by events that have gone before. Since our brains are part of this world, their state is also determined by preceding events. Hence, so are our thoughts and experiences, and, most significantly, the decisions we make.   On the other hand, we all experience making choices from small things like what to eat, to bigger issues like career and marriage.   We live our lives on the assumption that we do indeed have free will. The two views seem incompatible. Hence the paradox. And the question: Which is right?

I suspect most of you will have pondered this question at some time or other. Many may have landed on the free will side of the conundrum, believing that we do make choices of our own volition. Some on the other side, believing that free will is an illusion. Others, seeing validity in both sides of the paradox, may remain baffled or uncertain.

Over the years I have revisited this paradox many times. But before I explain how this may resolve the paradox, we should first go a little deeper into the evidence for both “determinism” and “free will”.

The Evidence

Determinism, in its original form, holds that the future is determined by the present state of affairs. But this does not imply that the future is fully predictable. For a start, we could never know the present state of affairs in sufficient detail to calculate the future precisely. Even if we could, chaos theory shows that even the slightest uncertainty in the current conditions can, on occasions, lead to wildly different outcomes. Quantum theory added its own challenge to strict determinism, showing that events at the atomic level can be truly random. Today, scientists and philosophers alike accept that the future is neither predictable nor predetermined.  

The apparent freedom of choice lies in our not knowing what the outcome will be. Take, for example, the common process of choosing what to eat in a restaurant. I first eliminate dishes I don’t like, or ones I ate recently, narrowing down to a few that attract me. I then decide on one of these according to various other factors—nutritional value, favorite tastes, what I feel my body needs, etc. It feels like I am making a free choice, but the decision I come to is predetermined by current circumstances and past experience. However, because I do not know the outcome of the decision-making process until it appears in my mind, I feel that I have made a free choice.

Yet, the other side of the conundrum persists. The experience of making choices of our own volition is very real. And we live our lives on the assumption that we are making decisions of our own free will, and directing our own future. It is virtually impossible not to.

A Self that Chooses?

Implicit in the notion of choice is the existence of a “chooser”—an independent self that is an active agent in the process. This, too, fits with our experience. There seems to be an “I” that is perceiving the world, making assessments and decisions, and making its own choices. This “I” feels it has chosen the dish from the menu.

The experience of an individual self is so intrinsic to our lives that we seldom doubt its veracity. But does it really exist in is own right? Two lines of research suggest not.  

Neuroscientists find no evidence of an individual self located somewhere in the brain. Instead they propose that what we call “I” is but a mental construct derived from bodily experience. We draw a distinction between “me” and “not me” and create a sense of self for the “me” part. From a biological point of view, this distinction is most valuable. Taking care of the needs of this self, is taking care of our physical needs. We seek whatever promotes our well-being and avoid those that threaten it.

They find that what we take to be a sense of an omnipresent “I” is simply consciousness itself. There is no separate experiencer; there is simply a quality of being, a sense of presence, an awareness that is always there whatever our experience. They conclude that what we experience to be an independent self is a construct in the mind—very real in its appearance but of no intrinsic substance. It, like the choices it appears to make, is a consequence of processes in the brain. It has no free will of its own.  

Complementary Perspectives

Nevertheless—and this is critical for resolving the paradox—in our everyday state of consciousness, the sense of self is very real. It is who we are. Although this “I” may be part of the brain’s model of reality, it is nevertheless intimately involved in the making of decisions, weighing up the pros and cons, coming to conclusions, choosing what to do and when to do it. So in the state where the self is real, we do experience our selves making choices. And those choices are experienced as being of our own volition. Here, free will is real.  

On the other hand, in what is often called the “liberated” or “fully-awake” state of consciousness, in which one no longer identifies with the constructed sense of self, the thought of “I” is seen as just another experience arising in the mind. And so is the experience of choosing. It is all witnessed as a seamless whole unfolding before one.

When I appreciated the complementary nature of these two states of consciousness the paradox dissolved for me. Whether or not we experience free will depends on the state from which we are experiencing the world. In one state of consciousness there is free will. In the other, it has no reality.  

Free will and determinism are no longer paradoxical in the sense of being mutually exclusive. Both are correct, depending upon the consciousness from which they are considered. The paradox only appears when we consider both sides from the same state of consciousness, i.e, the everyday waking state.

I like to illustrate this with Hamlet pondering the question of “To be or not to be?” The character in the play is making a choice. And if we have not seen the play before, we may wonder which way he will choose. This is the thrill of the play, to be engaged in it, moved by it, absorbed in its reality with all its twists and turns. However, we also know that how the play unfolds was determined long ago by William Shakespeare. So, we have two complementary ways of viewing the play. At times we may choose to live fully in the drama. Other times we may step back to admire his creative genius.  

So in life. We can be engaged in the drama, experiencing free will, making choices that affect our futures. Or we can step back and be a witness to this amazing play of life unfolding before us. Both are true within their respective frameworks.

A Will Free of Ego

Although, in the liberated state of mind, there may be no free will in the sense in which we normally think of it, there is instead a newfound freedom far more fulfilling and enriching than the freedom of choice to which we cling.  

The will of the individual self is focused on survival. Its foundation is the survival of the organism, fulfilling our bodily needs, avoiding danger or anything that threatens our well-being. In other words, keeping us alive and well, fending of the inevitability of death as long as possible. Added to this are various psychological and social needs. We want to feel safe and secure, to be feel stimulated and fulfilled, to be respected and appreciated. We believe that if we can just get the world to be way want it—and here the world includes other people—then we will be happy.  

In the liberated state, the ego no longer drives our thinking and behavior. When it drops away we discover that the ease and safety we had been seeking are already there; they are qualities of our true nature. But it is the nature of the ego to plan and worry, to seek the things it wants, avoid the things it doesn’t want. In so doing creates it tension and resistance, which veils our true nature, hiding from us the very peace of mind that we are seeking.  

The life-changing discovery of the liberated mind is that it is already at peace. Nothing needs to be done, nothing needs to happen, nothing needs to change in order to experience peace. There may still be much to do in the world; helping others, resolving injustices, taking care of our environment, etc.. But we are free from the dictates of the ego; we are free to respond according to needs of the situation at hand rather than what the ego wants. Here our will is truly free. 

January 2015

Pleasant morning and all attending enjoyed the meeting first we viewed a video Is anything real. Very amusing then we viewed a video by a chap named Levy who believes that we are co-dreaming our reality.

Us Who We Are

THERE appear to be few things more certain to us than the existence of our selves. We might be sceptical about the existence of the world around us, but how could we be in doubt about the existence of us? Isn’t doubt made impossible by the fact that there is somebody who is doubting something? Who, if not us, would this somebody be?

While it seems irrefutable that we must exist in some sense, things get a lot more puzzling once we try to get a better grip of what having a self actually amounts to.

Three beliefs about the self are absolutely fundamental for our belief of who we are. First, we regard ourselves as unchanging and continuous. This is not to say that we remain forever the same, but that among all this change there is something that remains constant and that makes the “me” today the same person I was five years ago and will be five years in the future.

Second, we see our self as the unifier that brings it all together. The world presents itself to us as a cacophony of sights, sounds, smells, mental images, recollections and so forth. In the self, these are all integrated and an image of a single, unified world emerges.

Finally, the self is an agent. It is the thinker of our thoughts and the doer of our deeds. It is where the representation of the world, unified into one coherent whole, is used so we can act on this world.

All of these beliefs appear to be blindingly obvious and as certain as can be. But as we look at them more closely, they become less and less self-evident.

It would seem obvious that we exist continuously from our first moments in our mother’s womb up to our death. Yet during the time that our self exists, it undergoes substantial changes in beliefs, abilities, desires and moods. The happy self of yesterday cannot be exactly the same as the grief-stricken self of today, for example. But we surely still have the same self today that we had yesterday.

There us core belief is that the self is the locus of control. Yet cognitive science has shown in numerous cases that our mind can conjure, post hoc, an intention for an action that was not brought about by us. Our DNA itself holds this programming yet scientists cannot quite figure out the exact mechanisms we operate under.

So, many of our core beliefs about ourselves do not withstand scrutiny. This presents a tremendous challenge for our everyday view of ourselves, as it suggests that in a very fundamental sense we are not real. Instead, our self is comparable to an illusion — but without anybody there that experiences the illusion.

Yet we may have no choice but to endorse these mistaken beliefs. Our whole way of living relies on the notion that we are pieces of DNA which make us unchanging, coherent and autonomous individuals. All we have is the present moment and although the self is an useful illusion, it may also be a necessary one so that we learn to learn more in the now.

Being Present And Ageless DNA 

Scientific studies have suggested that a mind that is present and in the moment indicates well-being, whereas shifting our energy to the past or future can lead to unhappiness. A recent UCSF study showed a link between being present and aging, by looking at a biological measure of longevity within our DNA.

In the study, telomere length, an emerging biomarker for cellular and general bodily aging, was assessed in association with the tendency to be present in the moment versus the tendency to mind wander, in research on 239 healthy, midlife women ranging in age from 50 to 65 years.

Being present in the moment was defined as an inclination to be focused on current tasks, while mind wandering was defined as the inclination to have thoughts about things other than the present or being elsewhere. Many practitioners of spiritual health tell us not to deny the problems we are facing, but to also not get lost in them either. Psychological sciences have shown us that being present brings us greater alertness and inner security, allowing us to face challenges more objectively and with greater calm.

According to the findings, published online in the new Association for Psychological Science journal Clinical Psychological Science, those who reported more mind wandering had shorter telomeres, while those who reported more presence in the moment, or having a greater focus and engagement with their current activities, had longer telomeres, even after adjusting for current stress.The human genome is packed with at least four million gene switches that reside in bits of DNA that once were dismissed as “junk” but it turns out that so-called junk DNA plays critical roles in controlling how cells, organs and other tissues behave. The discovery, considered a major medical and scientific breakthrough, has enormous implications for human health and consciousness because many complex diseases appear to be caused by tiny changes in hundreds of gene switches.

Mindful meditation interventions, which promote attention on the present with a compassionate attitude of acceptance, lead to increases in some aspects of health. Being present and observant in purity without judgment also means that we have no emotionality surrounding our observations. Our emotional well being is not placed in the outcomes of our life’s circumstances, but rather our wellbeing is placed inwardly and determined by a choice we make to remain calm, focused and expansive surrounding the multiple possibilities of the occurrences we are a witness to.

“We now have evidence for a new type of healing in which DNA can be influenced and reprogrammed by the way we think without physically modifying a single gene,” said Professor and geneticist Karina Mika.“Over many millennia our minds and physical being have become time machines programmed to grow old and expire, but it doesn’t have to be that way,” said Mika. “Being ageless could be as simple as changing our emotional state and thinking differently,” she concluded.

The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind. When the deep meaning of things is not understood the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.

December 2014

Only seven of us today first we looked at three short videos one on speaking, another on fears are an illusion and a rather daft one on slowing time. Still we have to keep an open mind maybe it does work. After our tea and cake. Jennie treated us. We looked at this answer to a question that intrigues me.

Question
The ONE may well in fact be the absolutely brain based reticular activating system that also may be the source of awareness. 
This process naturally precedes thought and therefore cannot be known by thought. It is also individually based. Identification with this pre-cortical awareness seems to me to be equivalent to the SOURCE that you describe. Perhaps its characteristics are sat/chit/Ananda. 
Is it not possible that all this spiritual searching is just plain silly? 
Response: An interesting question Joe. Spiritual searching may be called silly for many reasons, but for the seeker it probably is not. If I need my glasses and look for them, I don't consider this silly, but if you see them perched on top of my head, you probably do: It's a matter of perspective. 
We could say that the brain-based reticular activating system is instrumental to the functioning of human consciousness, but to conclude that this system is the One Source seems like declaring part of the radio to be the source of what we hear on it. We could remove a certain component of the radio and thereby silence it. This may then be taken as evidence that the music we heard, originated in the part we removed. 
Is it not just as unlikely that consciousness is the outcome of some random chemical interaction as it is that Bach's music originates in a transistor? Could it be that 'something' animates this manifestation just like the airwaves 'animate' the radio? We could call it 'intelligent energy', 'Life' or 'Beingness'. Without this 'force' even a fully intact body does not function; just like an intact light bulb will not produce light without the animating energy of electricity. 
Here, Life or Beingness and whatever appears are not seen as two, but for the sake of metaphor let's say that Beingness 'uses' the reticular activating system to express AS 'human-self-reflecting-consciousness' in the same way a musician may use an instrument to express his musicality. Seen in this light, the reticular activating system is the instrument 'played' by Life-It-Self and 'awareness' is the melody. 
There is no way I know of, to prove what I say here, yet there is now way I know of to disprove it. There are of course NDE's and OBE's, which are difficult to fit with awareness being purely brain based. To be sure, they do not prove anything conclusively, but neither have they been explained satisfactorily. Within the commonly accepted idea that time is real and humans and their brains have evolved through a lengthy process, it may indeed seem possible for dead matter to have sparked into brain based consciousness, just like it might be possible for a million monkeys pressing keys on a million typewriters to come up with the Encyclopedia Britannica. However this is not what is seen here: No past, no future, only THIS timeless presence appearing right now, including memories and theories. One Timeless Unborn Source - One Energy- expressing AS apparent diversity. 
To approach this mystery of 'Self Origination' through 'cause/effect reasoning' may lead to the idea that the reticular activating system is what has given rise to the idea of One Source. But could it not as well be the other way around? However, if we decide to use 'cause/effect reasoning' to get to the root (or source), then why stop there? If we really want to explain it, it seems we now have to come up with 'something' as the cause of this 'reticular activating system'. And so on…… 
It seems this chain of cause and effect ultimately requires a 'first cause.' This 'first cause' would have to be 'uncaused' for it to be the first. I only put this in to illustrate that from 'my' perspective 'cause/effect theory' merely provides answers within its own limited scope. Eventually it either seems to 'pitter out', or it gets pushed back forever and ever, or it leads back to the mystery of 'Self Origination.' 
Here splitting ONE in cause and effect is seen as a purely mind generated abstraction, very handy in day to day interaction, but an abstraction nevertheless. Such dividing logic may convincingly tell us of the cause -the brain based reticular activating system- and its effect of 'it being interpreted as Source.' Such reasoning wins on its own terms, but perhaps there is the option of an intuitive insight, a sudden 'seeing through' where this whole manifestation is perceived as nothing but 'the Single Source' appearing presently AS consciousness and its apparent objects -as a single, many faceted, self-shining diamond. As such IT may be re-cognized as the Timeless-Uncaused-Presence-You-Are. 

The Taoists call the appearance of the world and its unchanging background "Mutual Arising." We could say that Awareness is the 'generator' of the manifest world because all appears in awareness, but the split between awareness and its object is purely conceptual. Again, 'Mutual Arising' seems a great pointer. Can we conceive of something that does not appear in awareness, can we find a difference between hearing and a sound? Can we find colors separate from the seeing of colors? Perhaps it is obvious now that splitting 'the generator of the world' and the world itself is purely an idea. The generator and the generated -the dreamer and the dream- are not two. 
When the scissor of the mind, which divides this manifestation in 'this and that' in 'you and me' in 'up and down' is quiet for even just a moment, when all labels are gone; THIS is just AS IT IS. 
There was never a point in time when IT was created or 'generated' as time itself is part of 'the generated appearance'. Here IT IS, appearing (or 'being generated') presently. This is the Unborn Mystery of 'some-thing' out of 'no-thing. 'You', as a character, will never get closer to IT, nor can 'you' get away from IT. IT is all there is and -as said in the Upanishads- YOU Are THAT. 

But the real proof of this concept is INSIDE of us. Anybody who meditates can see, sense, feel and know that there is something there. That there is more there than just going to work each morning, making money to buy a house or a car, shopping, sleeping and eating. If we think that this is our purpose on this Universe, we are making a mistake. Sooner or later, our Higher Selves will give us lessons that will lead us back to unconditional love and harmony.

November 21st

Ten of us today and all impressed with two video's on on why our brain goes haywire when under pressure and how to stop those emotions that stop us from thinking clearly. The other video on how cancers are dependent on blood supply, the treatment to remove the blood supply to cancers and the right foods to prevent it in the first place.
We then read this which is good advice.

“Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.” ~Unknown

For almost all my life, I have lived in my head.

In my head, there was a utopia. And that utopia was named “someday.”

“Someday” I w ould have my degree, have the perfect relationship, become successful in business, own a beautiful home near the beach, be more athletic, and of course, be completely fulfilled with every aspect of my life.

For me, “Someday” was both a place of refuge and a place of torment. Because although in my mind, it gave me something to hope for, it also made every moment of every day feel… empty.

Nothing I did or experienced in the moment was ever enough. I lived life as a means to an end that never seemed to come.

Each day I would wake up and jump from one thing to the next. When brushing my teeth I would think about breakfast, at breakfast I’d think about my commute, and so forth until I reached the brief moments just before I fell asleep, so I could promise myself “ Don’t worry, it’s all worth it—you’re getting closer!”

I felt like I had to rush against some invisible clock to pack my life with the fulfilment I thought I needed.

Milestones were passed and yet, I never stopped to appreciate any of it. I rushed head first into a serious relationship that wasn’t right for me, moved across the country to find myself, and launched a business.

After years of working hard, I finally woke up one day to realize that I was “there.” I was engaged, living in a five-bedroom house, working as a high level marketing consultant, and had everything I thought I had wanted “someday.”

And yet… I was still completely unsatisfied.

While outsiders saw an amazing life, I was stuck comparing “someday” to my current life, and lamenting on how it didn’t stack up.

Then, something amazing happened. I lost it all.

And I mean lost. It. ALL: My relationship exploded, I had to leave my home, I was let go from my high paid consulting gig, no longer had a car, and to top it off, I lost the two closest members of my family. All while being stranded thousands of miles away from any loved ones.

In the space of two weeks.

At the time I didn’t think it was such an amazing experience. It felt like I was standing at the top of a mountain while it crumbled under my feet, and I saw the fall I was about to take.

The amazing part came over the next couple of years, while I nestled in a humble little cottage working to rebuild my life.

At first, I felt sorry for myself. I started to sink into a deep “why me” pity party, and everyone was invited.

Then I realized, I was standing over the edge of a deep, bottomless hole. I could fight life and keep sinking deeper and deeper. Or I could decide to find a reason to step away from that edge and keep going.

I decided to look away from the edge. And it changed my life. Here’s what I discovered:

Love the present moment.

Fully accept it and fully love it. It took me a long time to understand that you can want to change or move towards a goal, and still love where you’re at now. Life is about living and embracing each moment, not looking to some future that will never come.

Find the blessings in the current situation.

No matter how dark your situation seems, there is a jewel hidden somewhere inside it. You can make up your mind to see only the bad stuff, or you go find the beautiful stuff and be grateful for it.

Understand that there is no magic moment that will save you—and rejoice!

We’re all looking for that thing that will give us deep fulfilment. But it’s not outside of you. It’s not hiding in a job, in cars, in a house, in a relationship, or anything else. Those are all nice things to have. But that deep fulfilment will not come from any of those sources.

You’re already a full and complete person. And part of connecting with that deep fulfilment is simply infinding the joys in the current moment.

These three simple steps broke the hold that “someday” had on me. I realized that “someday” was every day. Every moment of our lives.

I started to enjoy every day. And to my surprise the fulfilment I thought that I had to work for was right there all along—even though I had nothing that I thought I wanted!

The funniest thing is that once I let go of that search for fulfilment, everything that used to live in the world of “someday” manifested into my life with ease. I have since found my soul mate, live next to the beach, run my own heart-based business, and although I’m no athlete, I’m definitely much healthier.

However, I always remember that regardless of whether these things stay with me or go, I will always have fulfilment in my life.

Sotake on any challenge or go after any goal with a clear conscience knowing that you don’t need it to become completely fulfilled right now.

You are already complete.

As Lao Tzu said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”  ~Iyanla Vanzant

17 Oct 2014

Have you ever pondered why is there something rather than nothing? That was the question I posed the small group after several phone calls apologising for not coming depleted our numbers. We then viewed a Ted program on the same question. According to that nothing exists to everything and we are in the middle like Goldilocks just right. We saw a short video about dreams then read and discussed the following.

The Lightness of Being
As a long-time friend and student of the Dalai Lama, Surya Das tells the story of how he received his first teaching about Being Light from this great spiritual leader.

An American guy stood to ask the Dalai Lama the following question: "What is the meaning of life?"The Dalai Lama answered, "To be happy and to make others happy."

At first, Surya Das admits, this seemed a superficial answer. Today, he appreciates the wisdom of those simple words.Julia: For many of us, the spiritual path has been difficult. And yet we know there must be a place where it becomes lighter — where the struggle becomes less arduous and we begin to experience that lightness of spirit we knew as children. Can you speak about this, please?Lama Surya Das: Part of lightening up is letting go of some of the burden. We take spirituality, religion, identity, and the big questions in life very seriously. And they are serious. But they shouldn't be too serious. It's important to wake up to the funny sides of things, and not believe so much in our self-importance, our prejudices, our heavy opinions, perspectives, and beliefs.
If we take ourselves too seriously, life isn't much fun.Julia: I hear you saying that our beliefs and opinions are part of the burden we need to release in order to be Light.Lama Surya Das: The Buddhists say to cherish the truth, but not to cherish your opinions.
Of course, we all have opinions and preferences. That's only human. But we don't have to hold them so heavily. We can wear them more lightly. For example, I'm a Buddhist, but I don't take it that seriously. I'm sure that Buddhism is not the final word.
We need to realize that we will lose some of our opinions as we travel the path. We need reality and truth, not just opinions. And truth has to be personal experience. Whether or not we decide to believe or join or sign on to some outside system, we have to find reality and truth within ourselves.Julia: And what about the opinion we have of who we are?Lama Surya Das: We need to let go of that. The lightness of being or joy begins with authenticity, and this means letting go of who we think we are, leaving more room in present time to find out who we really are — and letting that new identity emerge.
The extra baggage from the past is something we have to pay for, just as we have to pay for every extra kilo of baggage on a flight. Living in the moment is really the ultimate, and when we can get into the moment we can free ourselves from the burdens of the past.
In Eastern mysticism, there is a lot of thought about returning home — coming back to who we really are, finding something outside of ourselves, or even within the next life after we die. But it is important to realize the joy or buoyancy of being right now, here in this world. There is an updraft of joy and buoyancy to the spirit of Being Here Now.
This awareness of the moment frees us from our karma. It actually frees us from our karmic conditioning, and then we can let go of who we used to be. We are actually free from the voices of the past and past conditioning.

How do we live more in the Now? This is the question. Of course, the Now is where we are. But we need to be aware of this, and for that we need practices — like meditation or exercise We need a place in which we are aware of the time and space we are in now, but simultaneously aware of the timeless Now.
We have to connect the eternal Now with the present now — not the spaced-out presence of watching television, or mindlessly completing tasks.
We need to be connected in a sane, healthy way to the timeless Now — the moment — as well as the past, present, and future. I'm talking here about clarity and balance, and not going over the deep end. In this place, we are free. We are of the world and living in it. We don't have to negate the world, we don't push anything away — but we are also not overly vested in it, either. We become One with it. This is the Buddhist teaching of the Middle Way.
There is a balance, a freedom, a lightness, a joy in this place. Spirit is joy, Spirit is freedom, and Spirit is bliss. It is not a chore, a dogma, or a mental belief. It is like rest, because it is born every minute.
And there is joy in the transparent quality of Light, not just in its degree of brightness. Instead of just seeing things "out there," we begin to see through things. And when we reach this point, we start to see that everything — not just human beings, but all beings, all parts of creation in every moment, every molecule of the Universe — takes on the appearance of Light.
Lightness is joy. Life is a delight. Life is a joy.Julia: I think for me the greatest heaviness comes when I focus on the need to change someone else in order to be happy. Can you give us some advice about this habit of thinking?Lama Surya Das: There is something that we never learn in school, an incredible secret teaching: Whenever we change, everything changes.
Just realize that when we fight with reality as if we are going to change it, all we do is stir up more dust. The situation wouldn't be there if we weren't supposed to see the Divine in it. If we can't see the Divine — or the joke — in it, we have to keep living through it and be reborn until we get it.
We always want to change our mates, change our present circumstances, change our child or colleague. But when we change ourselves, the world looks different.
Moreover, the more we love and accept ourselves, the more others will love and accept us. And when we accept our mate, for example, this creates a transformational magic that completely changes our relationship.
It's counter-intuitive, but we should accept this as a great spiritual magic.Julia: My own feeling is that we cannot really accomplish this lightness of being until we change our habits.Lama Surya Das: That's absolutely correct. Spiritual practices come into play here, because they help us ultimately detach ourselves from our conditioned responses. Starting new spiritual practices and better eating, exercise, and work patterns definitely makes us more joyful and brings wonder and lightness into our lives. This is the way we connect to the Divine on a daily basis.

The bad news is that we really are heavily conditioned with the old habits, patterns, or karma. But the good news is that these habits, patterns, and karma are just ruts we are in, and new, lighter ruts can be made through spiritual practice and discipline. So we can recondition ourselves through better habits and thus detach from our old conditioning.

There is a great deal of freedom and joy in changing our habits and doing spiritual practice, a lot of wonder and joy in freeing ourselves from our old patterns. There is reinvigoration and refreshment from this. It is actually like having a second or third youth!

Meditation One of the shortest and most effective meditations is to take a short breath and smile. This only takes five seconds, but it can be repeated for one minute. This can be done either sitting or standing, eyes open or closed. This is one of my favorite American meditations. It's short, easy, and you can do it anywhere.

September meeting

Ten of us gathered together to seek enlightenment or or more likely to have a good natter amongst friends.
We viewed a video showing how the mind makes up what it thinks is out there. How far we are from being observant. The conclusion that reality is an interface for what is really out there. Then we  viewed a meditation video a 10 minute blue skies contemplation. After that we read and discussed the following.

Spontaneity: Why Its Better than Having a Plan

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us” – E.M. Forster

Be born, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, have grandkids, get old, die. That’s the plan right? Well, so we think. Unfortunately so many get stuck in this cookie cutter idea of what life is supposed to look like, only to live in constant frustration and disappointment that their life looks nothing like the standardized version. Life may drift them more and more off course, and they keep trying to control the helm by bringing it back to the life they think they should have, like the characters on TV.

Unfortunately much of their life is spent in the struggle trying to get back “on course”, or what they believe is “on course.” So much time is wasted in this struggle to no avail. Only when a person just gives up, surrenders to the tides of their life are they able to see that their idea of how things were SUPPOSED to go was causing them a constant frustration because they were never actually enjoying anything about the present moment, or the way things WERE going. Who says things have to go exactly like that? If things aren’t going exactly like the social norm does that means that things have gone “wrong”?

The fun and adventure lies in the spontaneity, in the suspense, in the uncertainty. Of course it’s fun to have goals and aspirations, things that we envision ourselves doing and ways that we can offer our gifts and talents to the world, but in order to become more open to possibilities and opportunities that are awaiting us, ones that we never expected were possible, the most important thing we need to do is stop planning our futures so rigidly. We must allow ourselves to relinquish the need to have absolute control over every single situation, small or big. We must let something else take over, something that knows way more than we do….

“When I finally learned to let go of having to totally control everything around me and let my life unfold, I was stunned by the results. How could I have ever thought I could outsmart the Universe?” – Geri Larkin

The problem with trying to control how every situation will go is that we cannot always see the bigger picture in every situation. We have no idea why we didn’t get the job we applied for, or why our partner decided to leave us, or why the car wouldn’t start on our way to work. All the ego knows is that this situation was “bad”, we experienced some sense of sadness or pain, and because it does not desire to feel uncertain, or pain, sadness or vulnerability ever again, it must plan. It must control how everything in the future will go, so as to never feel out of control or open to chance ever again.

However, so much of our life is dependent upon things that we cannot control completely. The weather, traffic, how other people behave, whether or not we get the big promotion, who we meet and how we meet them, are all things that we cannot control 100% of the time. But the question is, why would we want to? Having total control over every single situation is not only an exhausting endeavor for us but is also a stifling experience for the people in our lives. The result of this fear of losing control is that we limit the universe in being able to direct us to paths that we may not have ever thought of on our own.

As soon as an opportunity or possibility is presented to us that doesn’t fit into our box, or rather our plan of what our life is supposed to look like, we turn away from it and label it “bad idea”… bad idea because it’s not what we think life is supposed to look like.

But if we look at our life from a broader view, from the big picture perspective, and openly accept the fact that we didn’t get the job, or we were dumped by our partner, or our car breaking down made us late for an appointment, we may in fact realize a better job opening was coming along, a new healthier relationship was just around the corner, or our car breaking down prevented us from being involved in a huge accident on the highway.

So just because a situation is not what we WANTED to happen, or what we planned on happening does not necessarily mean that it was bad. We can look at life in two different ways, one is that things don’t go as planned and that’s a bad thing, or we can look at it as if we live in a universe that always conspires for our greater good, so when something goes “wrong” or unplanned, we trust that it was for our greater good, always, even if we never see exactly why. The first option leaves us in constant resistance, and angry, bitter and stressed out constantly… and the second one leaves us grateful, accepting, and excited everyday about what that day may bring.

“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey” – Lemony Snicket

If we envision anything for our future selves it should be that we are the best version of ourselves possible. We are healthy, and happy and doing something that we love to do and surrounded by people that love us. If we make the main focus health and happiness we leave ourselves open to all the many paths and roads and trails that one might take to achieve these goals, instead of getting too attached to exactly how we think life should happen.

Think of the universe like the navigational system in the car, we know the end destination (us being the best version of ourselves), but the HOW we get there is always up in the air. We may take a million left turns, take the scenic route or we may take the shortest route possible, only to find a happier more fulfilling destination mid-way through. The one thing that we can depend on though is that the universe never lets us get completely off course.

There is never too many “wrong turns” that the intelligence of the universe cannot re-route us back to being on track to our final destination. In fact, there is no “wrong” turns at all, there are only routes that allowed us to enjoy the view a little longer and take things a little slower, or routes that got us to our destination very quickly. Either way, we realize the fun was in the unexpectedness of the adventure.

August meeting

I put on a video about improving eyesight through natural methods mainly learning to relax not just the eyes but the mind. Then a short video on encompassing the oneness with the separateness of the ego as an expression of the Self. OK they struggled with that one. Then we read the following which they did like a lot.

When ‘Thinking Positive’ Doesn’t Seem to be Working
Nikki Sapp
“Life is not about being perfect, it’s about being real” – Unknown
Emotions are an inevitable part of the human experience. They can have us on top of the world or in the depths of despair, but if nothing else, they remind us that we are alive. Usually, “good” emotions are welcomed with open arms into our life experience, while perceived “bad” emotions are avoided at all costs. People use anything from drugs & alcohol to denial to avoidance to blame, all just to protect themselves from having to feel anything.
Very often we are given the advice to just, “think positive”, “be happy” or “stay optimistic” when we are experiencing hard to deal with emotions. While this advice may sound wonderful in theory, (because, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to just be happy and upbeat ALL the time?) it may not always be the healthiest option. In order to successfully move through a tough emotion, the emotion itself must be not only acknowledged but actually FELT.
How ironic. The one thing that people try to duck, dive and avoid at all costs (feeling the emotion) is the one thing that will set them free and resolve it. Denying the emotion is happening will keep it bubbling just under the surface, while observing it without judgement and feeling it to completion will actually make it subside.
It sounds simple, “just FEEL the emotion and it will go away,” but it can be a little bit trickier than it sounds and it’s also important to look at the role of our emotions and how “bad” ones can actually help us to grow as a person.
“Is suffering really necessary? Yes and no. If you had not suffered as you have there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. Suffering cracks open the shell of the ego and then comes a point where it has served its purpose. Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.” – Eckhart Tolle
Many have people have spent decades not feeling ANYTHING, it is literally how they run their lives, so when a negative emotion pops up they immediately jump to their preferred line of defense (avoidance, blame, addiction etc…). When a person spends all of their time not feeling anything, they run the risk of overcompensating by excessive DOing.
They jump from job to job, from one relationship to another, new hobby to new hobby, all to avoid the reality of ‘what is’, which is that there is an emotion that never got dealt with just under the surface. Over time they become human DOings instead of human BEings which means they are never quite comfortable to just BE.
This causes them to become so disconnected with themselves that they stop knowing how they truly feel about things and instead focus on how they think they should feel and act, which prevents them from being honest with themselves. The most important thing to remember here is that emotions should not be avoided, nor should they be wallowed in. Emotions, when used properly can be wonderful guideposts for our lives. Even though it’s not healthy to see our emotions as the 100% absolute truth of a situation, we can use them as indicators as to when it’s time to move on from an unhealthy relationship, or a going nowhere job, or they might even signify a deeper rooted issue that is begging to be dealt with.
As long as we don’t start identifying with the emotions themselves as our sense of self to the point that we are addicted and attached to them for our ego’s survival, we can use our emotions in a healthy manner. There are many methods to help us process emotions and move through them more quickly, which include: Meditation, yoga, hypnotherapy, counselling, energy work (chakra balancing/clearing, reiki, etc…), the tapping method, and so many more.
“The ego says, ‘I shouldn't have to suffer’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say ‘yes’ to suffering before you can transcend it” – Eckhart Tolle
Feelings and emotions are a part of the human experience, and when used properly can become wonderful tools for us. To only focus on being positive and feeling good is to deny part of our life’s journey, which will consequently inhibit us from being able to feel true joy. The happiest and most peaceful of people are the ones who have made it through their tough times, by actually going through their suffering instead of denying it was happening in the first place. Once a person has gone through the rough patches & dealt with emotions to completion, they are able to come out happier and wiser. They literally come to the light at the end of their tunnel.
The fear of feeling emotions starts to go away with practice. Soon, feeling an emotion, instead of avoiding it, becomes an automatic response. When we move through feelings more quickly we will always have continual growth which allows for true happiness, joy and inner peace.