Non-attachment
is one of the most important skills you can master.
We
easily get attached to things, people, situations, the past and the
future. However, these attachments are never healthy. Clinging onto
anything is not a good habit to cultivate, although we all seem to go
down that road at some point in our lives.
We
often attach ourselves to the things that are making us happy at that
moment, trying to hold onto them just so we can experience happiness
longer. We worry about the odds of losing the happiness and we think
that clinging to it would make it stay. And when things change – as
they always do – we feel miserable and betrayed.
Knowingly
or unknowingly, we attach ourselves to feelings of happiness and
satisfaction, and identify ourselves with them. Because of this, we
tend to dwell on the past or feel anxious about the future, failing
to experience the joy of the present moment.
Once
we stop clinging or trying to control the world around us, we allow
the Universe to fulfill us in ways beyond our imagination. Letting go
is necessary so we can allow the happiness to flood in.
Releasing
attachments is not a one-time decision. It is a moment-to-moment
choice and commitment, and it involves changing the way we interact
with anyone and anything we used to get attached to in the past. So
how do you release your attachment? Here’s a few tips to set you
free.
1)
Releasing Attachment From People. Quit depending on people when it
comes to acknowledging your worth. Know your worthiness without
needing other people’s approval. Don’t let others dictate how you
feel about yourself.
Going
alone sometimes is a good way of releasing your attachment from
others. This will help you examine yourself as well as your passions
and values.
Hold
onto people lightly and understand that you, and just you, have the
ability to feel loved, worthy and secure.
This
can also be applied to romantic relationships. Understand that it
takes two whole persons to be together, and you are never someone’s
“other half”.
2)
Releasing Attachment From The Past. Whether you like it or not, you
can never change what’s already happened – ever.
Holding
onto what’s already gone is living your life based on fear. Instead
of focusing on what has happened or what didn’t happen, focus on
whatever is happening right now. At this very moment.
This
is the only moment you have control over – the now. Make peace with
your past and realize that whatever happened had to happen, so the
you right now can emerge. When you look back, you’ll see that the
sequence of events had unfolded perfectly, for your own personal
growth.
3)
Releasing Attachment From The Future. You cannot find happiness and
contentment in the future, because the only real thing is the present
moment – and this is all you’re experiencing right now. There is
no need to know what the future will hold. The only thing you need to
realize is that your future is hinged on how you will use the present
moment.
4)
Releasing Attachment From Feelings And Emotions. This goes to both
positive and negative emotions. Most of us are attached to feelings
of happiness and the feelings of regret. We tend to forget that all
of these are just passing emotions. Identifying ourselves with our
feelings and emotions make us prisoners of our own minds.
To
release your mind, notice when you’re overwhelmed with an emotion,
and then take a pause. Observe your feelings and take a few deep
breaths while telling yourself: “This is just an emotion, it does
not define who I am.” You’ll notice the overwhelming feeling
melting away.
The
practice of releasing attachments may be difficult, but only because
we have accepted our attachments as part of our lives, believing it
is in accordance with the society.
You
can break free from this notion and release whatever is binding you
to all these dramas. Not getting attached to anyone or anything is
important in order to bring harmony to our relationships with other
people and most importantly, with ourselves.
Your
Beliefs become True
Saying
that beliefs are not always true is simply a fact, but the individual
having the belief finds that often the belief comes true. Over and
over it has been taught that what individuals believe and think is
their fate. We are a product of our internal belief system. No matter
how faulty a belief the person that has it will inevitably live it.
People
become what they believe because it is how they perceive the
opportunity and environment around them. People do not perceive
reality, but they do perceive their perception of reality. Read that
sentence again, it is a mind boggling theory, but one that is
unbelievably true. A good example of this theory can be seen when two
people have a verbal argument. Both parties are angry and will recall
different things. The mind will take in parts of the altercation,
changing, deleting and even distorting the information.
People
have the tendency of remembering a negative expression or action much
longer than a positive one. For parents it may be that their child
has done a host of things correct, but the one time they mess up,
they have trouble living it down. If the child does something again
the parents will automatically return to the negative experience.
People
have self fulfilling prophecies not by accident, but because they set
themselves up for the situation. A nagging, suspicious wife can drive
a husband away with the constant negativity. The strong and
passionate beliefs can often times become true, because we keep on
with them until they are a reality. So be careful with your beliefs,
unless they are positive, because you may just create a self
fulfilling prophecy that you don’t want.
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