What Are We Trying To Fill?
April 3, 2013 by Elina
If
you are human, you probably know that we have been conditioned to
want to “fill” all the time. Emptiness often scares us. When our
life falls apart, a common reaction is to quickly want to fill it up
again, or rely on waiting for the future to find fulfilment there.
When our lives are stable, when we have what we so-called “wanted,”
we still can feel a void after a short while. Or when there isn’t
much content in our present moment; we often try to fill it up with
thoughts like “I’m bored” and reach out for something to do. So
what’s the issue?
If
we recognize ourselves in this first paragraph, let’s admit it:
part of us feels “unhappy”. By that I mean the part of us that
needs filling is somewhat unfulfilled, or else it wouldn’t need
filling! If you are completely at peace within yourself and nothing
could bring you down, then this article isn’t for you! But I know
I’m not 100% there, so in a way I’m writing this for myself and
anyone else feeling that certain aspects of themselves need
attention. It’s okay to acknowledge moments when we feel
unhappiness or lack. It isn’t “bad”, it’s just an emotion
that is shedding light on what we need to acknowledge and investigate
only for the purpose of freeing ourselves more and more.
Have
you noticed how this “unhappy” self prefers thinking about
life’s content, rather than experiencing life
itself? This is an important realization, because it brings to our
awareness that instead of living life in a state of inner freedom, we
often “invest” our well being and sense of security in external
content, other beings or thoughts of what would finally make us feel
complete. We sometimes mistake this for love or purpose, but the core
of it is actually attachment: the fear of separation.
The
fear of separation seems to be a core wound within humanity’s
collective subconscious because of all the years we have believed we
were everything but one with Love – everything but whole. We
began to see ourselves as a separate, weak individual that needs to
be filled by something to have substance or value. Great experience!
But quite illusory. We have forgotten who we are: a spiritual being
at one with all of existence, having a human experience.
Since
we’ve forgotten all about our true nature for quite some time, fear
arose in our minds. “We can die! We can be lost forever! We need
stuff to feel alive, someone to feel connected.” So there you have
it: our “unhappy” self feels disconnected from being and
therefore must feel like it’s doing or at least gaining something.
It wants to survive. It is programmed to avoid feeling emptiness
because it felt threatened by it, it knows it cannot exist there.
So
what does this “unhappy” self have to do maintain a life of its
own? It creates stories – whether it be miserable stories or
comforting stories – for YOU to identify with them. Without us
identifying with these stories and choosing to believe them, they
simply come and they go.
“We are identifying with what is passing so fear comes. We are trying to make steady and permanent what is by nature impermanent.” – MoojiThis is about getting back to LIFE, the very core is this moment, the aliveness of who you are. Forget about content for a second and breathe in life!
We
can tell the mind to relax now. We are safe. Why? Because we don’t
need to be! Sure, our bodies and minds are impermanent, but we are
the BEING within the body, the consciousness experiencing itself
through a physical vessel. The mind is simply the awesome tool
through which we explore and create within the playground. We can be
pals with it, but we don’t need to completely identify with it
until we forget about our own being!
“Remember how spacious, creative and free you felt as a child at play? That is the space of no-mind, the space of being.” – Your SoulI’m writing this as a message to myself and all of you, to remind us that we don’t have to escape “the void” anymore. The void is beautiful, it is our own presence. We can relax in our presence and sit with whatever we are feeling whether it is comfortable or not. We often are afraid to go within because we might find old baggage along the way that we are reluctant to let go of. We might feel like we are “losing” ourselves. But in truth, we are simply letting go of what we are not. We can now stop trying to control everything by thinking it through. No matter where the flow takes us, it will lead us to the perfect environment for us to acknowledge and dissolve our own limitations and create space for this higher dimension of consciousness to shine through. It is time to get back in the driver’s seat, not by taking control, but by letting go of the one that is trying to control everything and “fill” what needs no filling in the first place! Once we do that, it literally feels like you will be taking your first real breath of fresh air in a long time.
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